There’s no such thing as a perfect family, despite what TV would have you believe. And while relationships can get bumpy for biological families, blended families typically have it much worse since there are so many extra dynamics to deal with and boundaries to navigate.
One parent recently took to the web to ask if she was a jerk for uninviting her stepson from what was supposed to be a family holiday so he could stay at home to look after his stepbrother who refused to go. Redditors didn’t hold back.
More info: Reddit
Blended family life can be tricky, but that didn’t stop this woman from making matters even worse
Image credits: Jayme McColgan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman had planned a family trip to Disney World to celebrate her and her husband’s first anniversary
Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When her son said he really didn’t want to go, she promptly uninvited her stepson so he could stay at home to look after his stepbrother
Image credits: LiveRepair2040
Convinced that that was the best solution for everyone, she still turned to netizens to ask if uninviting her stepson and changing plans was a jerk move
OP begins her story by telling the community that she and her husband had a surprise gift of a family trip to Disney World to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. She adds that, while her sons are close in age, they have very different personalities, with her bio son being an extrovert and her stepson being an introvert.
She goes on to explain that her son was not interested in the trip at all and kicked up a fuss because he would be missing his girlfriend’s birthday. Her stepson, however, was thrilled about the trip.
OP then says that she felt going with just her stepson would be anticlimactic. She goes on to say that she wasn’t sure she could leave her bio son at home with the house all to himself, so leaving her stepson behind to keep an eye on him seemed like the best solution for everyone.
She says her stepson is devastated about not getting to go on the vacation but that her son is happy as a clam with the new plan, so she’s asked him to include his stepbrother in his social life while the couple are away. OP admits that her husband feels bad for his son, but she’s convinced her idea is best and even turned to Reddit to ask if she’s a jerk for changing plans and uninviting her stepson.
It’s clear from OP’s post that she may be on the narcissist side. It also seems that she might lack the self-awareness to even contemplate the consequences of her actions.
You might have come across a narcissist before, but the word gets thrown around a lot these days, so we took a closer look at what it really means and how to best deal with one.
Image credits: Inzmam Khan / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to WebMD, “Narcissism is extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them.”
While everyone may at some time display narcissistic behavior, true narcissists typically often disregard others or their feelings. In addition, they don’t understand the effect that their behavior has on others.
Signs of narcissism include a sense of entitlement, manipulative behavior, a need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and arrogance.
In her article for BetterUp, Elizabeth Perry puts forward 10 tips for how to deal with a narcissist. Some of these include learning about narcissism, establishing and maintaining boundaries, responding rather than reacting, insisting on actions not promises, avoiding direct confrontation, taking care of yourself, and reminding yourself that it’s not your fault.
In her article for VeryWellMind, Sanjana Gupta writes that, when dealing with a narcissist, it's crucial to remain confident and assertive, so they can't manipulate you.
Gupta suggests 10 phrases you can use to disarm a narcissist. A few of these include, “That doesn’t work for me”, “I can understand how you feel, but I feel differently”, and “If you continue to speak to me like that, I will walk away”. You could also use, “I’m going to step away from this conversation”, and “I remember it differently.”
Since he’s an introvert, it’s unlikely that the stepson will stand up to OP about her arrogant behavior - it may be the dad’s role to step in and deal with his wife’s actions.
What would you have done if you found yourself in the stepson’s shoes? Do you think there’s anything he could have said to dissuade his stepmom from abruptly changing plans? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Readers in the comments slammed the woman for assuming her solution was best for everyone and not considering her introverted stepson’s feelings
Image credits: Gary Barnes / Pexels (not the actual photo)
