Some people like to live in the moment and don’t really think too far ahead, especially not about their retirement. Of course, it might seem like a far-off concept, but as one approaches old age, it’s essential to have money saved up and some kind of security plan in place.
Unfortunately, one woman’s parents didn’t think about their future or how to save wisely, and they expected their youngest daughter to look after them as they aged. She felt burdened by their demands and worried about her future because of them.
More info: Reddit
A good retirement plan can help save people a lot of tension and reduce the pressure on their children to be the providers
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she was the youngest of three children, and that her parents looked after her and gave her everything she needed until she moved out at 27
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman’s parents had always been reckless spenders and hence didn’t have anything saved up for retirement, so they expected her to take them in
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster didn’t want to look after her parents since she and her fiancé lived in a one-bedroom apartment, and her folks always had a lot of pets
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When the woman told her parents she couldn’t take them in just because they kept wasting their money, they called her a horrible daughter
As the poster had mentioned, her parents seemed to be irresponsible with money and never considered putting a penny aside for their future. That’s exactly why their house wasn’t paid off, and they didn’t have a retirement fund to keep them secure as they approached old age. Hence, their kids had to take up this burden on their shoulders and help them out financially.
These kinds of heavy expectations might put a lot of pressure on kids who have to then manage their own lives and the welfare of their parents. The problem that healthcare professionals have noticed is that some elderly people have no other financial, emotional, or social support in their lives, which is why they feel their children need to take care of them as they are getting older.
Another thing that complicated the situation was that the OP’s grandmom had always lived with her parents, which is why they expected that she’d do the same and take care of them that way, too. She also didn’t know how to stand up to them since they had supported her so much when she was growing up.
This is obviously a complicated situation to be in, and many children feel indebted to their parents because of everything they’ve done for them. The problem that money experts point out is that in the struggle to support one’s parents in their retirement, many people might compromise on their long-term goals or blow through their savings quite quickly.
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Apart from the excessive spending by her parents, the OP knew that she also wouldn’t be able to put up with their many dogs and cats. Since she and her fiancé were living in a one-bedroom apartment, they just had enough space for themselves without adding two adults and many pets to the mix.
That’s exactly why, when the poster’s mom told her about having to start a payment plan to afford a $2,000 snowblower, the woman confronted her about her overspending. It seemed like the perfect time for honesty, and the OP told her mother that if they wanted to just waste money, she wouldn’t be there to bail them out.
It definitely must have taken a lot of courage for the poster to set boundaries with her parents like that, but psychologists say that it’s necessary for a person’s emotional well-being. The best way to be honest with a parent is to avoid harsh criticism and, instead, put your feelings across by using ‘I’ statements.
In this case, the OP’s brutal honesty definitely didn’t go down well, and her mom and dad were disappointed in her for not being open to support them, like they did for their parents. Despite all that guilt-tripping, the woman decided to stay firm and not give in to their demands.
Do you think the poster did the right thing by setting such boundaries with her spendthrift parents? Do share your honest opinion in the comments below.
Folks sympathized with the woman and felt that her parents were toxic for foisting such expectations on her
