While it’s true that the holidays are a time of celebration, connection and all that jazz, it’s also very much a strain on one’s wallet’s contents.
With that said, you can imagine how much more stressful it would be for a single mom on a tight budget with 3 kids.
And it doesn’t help that disappointment adds its own, making what’s supposed to be a magical time into a cluster of bad decisions and hurt. And no, it doesn’t sound like your average, run of the mill Christmas. Stop it.
The holiday season is something to look forward to, but it does take its toll on your finances
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
A single mom of 3 shared a story of the fallout she had with her teen daughter over a gift expectation that was not met
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/Affectionate_Tea1801
The daughter, wanting an iPad Pro, got a commendable alternative and an exhausted back-and-forth led to a verbal push-and-shove
The story goes that u/Affectionate_Tea1801, a mother of 3 daughters aged 11 (twins) and 16, shared her Christmas day struggles.
The twins wanted a Nintendo Switch for Christmas, while the elder one wanted an iPad Pro. Seeing as the single mom had a budget of $500, and the iPad alone cost $800, there was no way of meeting everyone’s needs.
So, she had to compromise. The little ones got their Switch, but the 16-year-old was given a Samsung alternative. This was after having also talked to her about how money is tight and “it seemed like we came to an understanding.”
The seeming was wrong.
Come Christmas day and the elder daughter is not happy. She throws a fit, according to the mom, and exhaustion kicks in. The mom says that if she wants a proper gift, she should call the dad (who is gone and isn’t seemingly planning on coming back).
It all ended in a teary falling out, followed by the returning of gifts. Oh, and also a posting online.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Folks were leaning towards a clear “you’re a jerk” verdict, but there were some devil’s advocates as well
The majority of the commenters were siding with the kid. Not only did they feel compassion for someone whose dad walked out, but also the mother’s cruel comment to call a dad who isn’t going to pick up the phone pushed it way out of line.
Folks also felt it important to point out that she is 16—an age when kids are going through more than just external but also internal factors. She is just making sense of the world as a young adult, and so adding a fire of dysfunctionality to the fuel is not helping.
Others argued that, all arguing, spoiling, and lashing out aside, the biggest culprit here is the dad. Why wasn’t he in the spotlight?
And there were also those who argued that siding with the kid just because is just dumb. They argued that they grew up without a dad and they had enough understanding to grasp the family situation and not make a fuss about it. If anything, this was a great lesson for someone who’s ungrateful and spoiled.
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
Whatever the case, the situation could’ve been handled better, though the mom did do some things right
When it comes to teens losing it over Christmas gifts, it’s important to know that this is normal. Kids are not yet calibrated to life, and so adding talks of values and other lecturing to an ongoing fit is counterproductive.
Instead, it’s important to validate the teen’s feelings, acknowledge how they feel and empathize, hear them out. That helps to alleviate the meltdown.
Whatever happens, it’s always good to stay frosty in such situations, as losing one’s cool will only fuel the fallout. Again, listening, validating, and pointing out the silver lining goes a long way.
What the mom did right, though, was she tried to manage expectations. This is also a great opportunity to at least try to lay the foundation for expectations for future gift-getting occasions. Once the kid has calmed down, point out the true meaning of the holidays and what truly matters.
And you know what matters? You. And your thoughts and stories in the comment section below!
Image credits: Any Lane (not the actual image)
Most folks called the mom a jerk right off the bat for her lashing out and adding salt to the wound
Others, however, noted that there is another side to the situation and the mom was not really at fault
Some even dared to argue that nobody's at fault. Well, maybe the dad
