What would you do if your mom stole your college money? Yup, some moms swipe a couple of fries off your plate, while others steal your future. Some moms say they’ll do anything for their kids, but apparently that means anything with their money. It’s basically emotional pickpocketing.
One Redditor found out that the tuition fund his dad had saved for years had teleported straight into his mom’s secret cash stash, and she still had the audacity to demand he pay maintenance for their family cottage, which he barely uses.
More info: Reddit
Some moms pack lunches, others pack up your tuition and make it disappear like it's a cheap magic trick
Image credits: dragonimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Man claps back at his mom after she asks him to pay for using the family cottage, despite stealing his entire college fund that his dad saved up for him
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The dad gives the mom money to save up for their son’s college, but she steals it and forces their son to hide the truth from him
Image credits: Simon Sikorski / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man takes loans for college, but his mom still demands he pay for using their shared family cottage 4 days a year
Image credits: Oldbookstore1900
The man tells his mom to take out the “maintenance” money she asks for from what she owes him after stealing his tuition
When the OP (original poster), now 33, was getting ready to go to university, his mom dropped a truth bomb no kid wants to hear—there was no tuition fund. Now, this would be shocking to most people, but not so much for the OP. He was already conditioned to expect disappointment from his mom.
So, when she confessed that she only deposited the first chunk of the money his dad gave her for years to save for his college, but then spent the rest, he wasn’t even surprised. Oh, and to make matters even more twisted, she made him promise not to tell his dad, the guy who had been handing her cash, thinking it was going towards their son’s future, not her shopping cart.
And the cherry on top? The OP had to fake thankfulness for 4 straight years, expressing gratitude to both parents while secretly drowning in student loans. But, over the years, the OP has carved out some healthy distance from his mom. Can’t say I blame him.
But wait, it gets worse. The family owns a shared cottage that the mom treats like Buckingham Palace. She lives there for about 90 days a year and begrudgingly allows the OP and his girlfriend to visit for just a few days every summer. But recently, the mom asked the OP to start chipping in for maintenance. But not, like, $50 for lawn care—more like a $1,000 invoice.
So, the OP hit back with a “Sure, take it out of the tuition money you owe me.” Mic drop. His shocked mom accused the OP of being “manipulative” for bringing up the tuition money and for threatening to tell his dad. But the OP’s real heartbreak is not even about money—it’s the realization that his mom still can’t do a single kind thing for him without expecting a return.
Mom called OP “manipulative” for daring to bring up the small detail of, you know, the entire tuition fund she swiped. But if we’re pointing fingers here, let’s talk about what’s really going on—because this behavior isn’t just petty, it’s narcissistic.
When a parent constantly puts their own needs above their kid’s, demands silence to protect their image, and still expects gratitude, that’s not normal parenting—it’s a one-person fan club.
Image credits: Mike Jones / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To better understand the lasting impact of narcissistic parenting, Bored Panda reached out to Laura Reagan, LCSW-C, an experienced trauma therapist, for some comments. She told us that one of the key indicators of a narcissistic parent is the inability to see their child as a separate, autonomous individual.
Instead, these parents often view their children as a reflection of themselves, using them to meet their own emotional needs. This behavior can lead to subtle or overt manipulation, including efforts to control their child’s relationships with siblings or other family members.
We wanted to know how someone raised in such an environment can set emotional boundaries with a narcissistic parent. Reagan explains that this process is particularly challenging because narcissistic parents tend to reject or completely ignore boundaries.
In many cases, the child has to resort to going no-contact, not as a first choice, but as a last attempt to protect their mental and emotional well-being after repeated efforts to establish healthy limits are dismissed.
When it comes to long-term effects, Reagan points out that children of narcissistic parents often grow up struggling with low self-worth. They may suppress their needs, feel they have to earn love, and carry a deep sense of shame into adulthood.
“Shame is often a pervasive emotion for adults whose parents were narcissistic. They often find themselves in caretaking roles. Children of narcissistic parents often partner with others who are self-absorbed or avoidant,” Reagan shared.
We asked Reagan what happens when adult children try to address these issues. She emphasizes the importance of being clear and respectful, but she also acknowledges that confrontation is rarely effective with someone who lacks self-awareness or accountability.
Finally, we asked whether or not narcissists can truly change. According to Reagan, it’s possible, but rare. Most narcissistic individuals don't see a reason to change unless a major life event forces them to reconsider their behavior. Even then, it’s unlikely they’ll seek help on their own, as they typically believe the problem lies with everyone else.
What do you think of this story? Would you have told your dad about the money or kept it a secret for years, like our poster did? Let us know in the comments!
Netizens side with the man, saying he is not a jerk for clapping back at his mom, but suggesting he should tell his dad the truth
