Many of us don't even suspect what dramatic twists and turns unfolded over our cradle regarding our names literally right after birth. For example, my own father wanted to name me Ivan in honor of his late dad so desperately that he even started telling all his friends about it as if it was fait accompli. However, as you can see from my profile, he was not that successful...
Our story today is somewhat similar to this one. Here, too, there's a newborn boy who some relatives wanted to name in honor of his grandfather. And the initiator of this idea also did not succeed - after all, both parents were against it. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and his wife recently had their first baby, a son, and decided to name him Hollis
Image credits: freepic.diller / freepik (not the actual photo)
The man's family has a tradition of naming babies after the grandparents, so his mom expected the boy to be either Jack or Parker
Image credits: u/Lucky-Indication-928
Image credits: CHUTTERSNAP / unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author's mom made several attempts to talk with the new parents about naming - but got rejected each time
Image credits: u/Lucky-Indication-928
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
At the recent naming ceremony for friends and relatives, the mom snapped and criticized the couple for giving the boy a 'stupid' name
Image credits: u/Lucky-Indication-928
The author replied sharply to his mom, claiming that it was none of her business, but she called him 'rude' in return
So, the Original Poster (OP) and his wife are in their late 20s, and recently the woman delivered their first baby, a son. The author admits that even during his wife's pregnancy, there were many discussions about the child's name from relatives, so he and his wife simply decided to ignore the opinions of their families.
And while the woman's family doesn't have any specific traditions regarding names for newborns, the OP's family has historically named children after their grandparents. Accordingly, his son, if we follow this rule, should have become either Jack (the dad's father) or Parker (the mom's father, respectively).
Moreover, the author's mom subconsciously expected that her grandson would be Jack - and therefore could not contain her disappointment when she learned that the parents decided to name their son Hollis. Over the next few months, the woman repeatedly kept talking with her son and daughter-in-law about baby names - but each time the parents stopped these conversations.
But recently, when the couple arranged a small naming ceremony for relatives and friends, the OP's mom finally lost her temper. She lashed out at the son and his spouse with criticism about the 'terrible' name they chose for her grandson. About how she hated this name, and that it would be worthwhile, before it was too late, to rename the boy.
And that, probably, the in-laws had something to do with it - and now they would have a grandson with a stupid name, 'like they had all stupidly named kids.' She would, no doubt, have continued her angry speech further, but the son intervened...
The author saw red. He sharply answered to his mother that it was none of her business what he and his wife decided to name their son, and that she should learn patience and respect for other people's opinions, habits and customs. The mother responded by saying that the OP 'had no excuse for rudeness to her face.' He retorted that she was actually crazy since she was being rude - and no one else.
Image credits: Askar Abayev / pexels (not the actual photo)
"Unfortunately, some people find it difficult to accept the fact that others - especially their own adult children - may have their point of view, different from their own. And that they may be wrong in imposing their views and traditions," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. "And when they are put in their place, they get very offended."
"In this particular situation, it seems to me, there is also some jealousy of the mother towards her in-laws. This sometimes happens - when groundless feuds begin between the parents of spouses literally out of the blue. And this doesn't really lead to anything good. The sooner people realize this, the better it will be, both for them and for the whole family."
"As for family customs and traditions - this is, of course, wonderful. This gives the opportunity to create some continuity from generation to generation... But with one important exception. If the parents of the newborn are not against it. And the choice of a name for a baby is a matter of only two people, the mother and father. Period. So, it seems to me, it is the mother of this man who should apologize to everyone present for being so unreasonable here," Irina summarizes.
Most people in the comments to the original post also spoke in favor of the author and his spouse, arguing that his mom has no right to be indignant about this. "If your mother wants to have a say in naming a baby, then she should have another baby," one of the responders wrote. "She was unnecessarily rude and disrespectful to you, your wife, your ILs and your child."
In the end, as some commenters presume, traditions are not bad, but sometimes it's time to start your own tradition. "Tradition or not, this is your child. And any future children. No one gets to tell you what you should name your child," another person expressed their viewpoint. "You could say, 'Well, parents, that was your tradition. We decided to start our own tradition as a family'." So what do you, our dear readers, think about this?
People unanimously sided with the author, even urging him to consider going no contact with his mother
