#1
hasturoid:
I did this to my Cheeto-sucking neighbor who was complaining about everything being “too woke”. I asked him what woke is, acted completely dumb, and he couldn’t give me an answer. I’m originally from Sweden (in the US since ‘03) so I just pretend that I don’t know these terms. Now he thinks I’m an ignorant Swede and leaves me alone. And I am a-okay with that.
#2
#3
My boss had told me about the team beforehand including details about the resident slacker. I decided to use a technique I’d learned in the army.
Within a few days of starting, I “chose” the slacker to be my stats guy and gave him a list of reports that I wanted. The deputy took me aside and said that she didn’t think it was a good idea to give him that job because he couldn’t be trusted to complete it efficiently.
The job was done effectively and efficiently and so I gave him more to do and kept slowly increasing the responsibility.
Within a year, he’d been promoted out of my team and became one of the best developers at the company.
The way the army do it is to put the trouble maker in charge of a platoon or a small team. They’ll either rise to the challenge and so all good, or f**k it all up so badly you can get rid of them.
Let’s peek inside our fascinating brains: here’s a cool one from Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project. She says, “Whatever you say about other people shapes how people see you.” So, if you call someone sweet and kind, people are likely to think you’re nice too. But if you’re always gossiping and tearing people down, guess what? That bad vibe sticks to you as well!
#4
sursgoatcheeseballs:
This. I have social anxiety & it makes life so much easier bc it also takes the focus off of me.
#5
#6
Are you telling me because you want my help in fixing the problem?
OR are you telling me because you want me to listen as you think through it and work out a solution yourself?
Back in 1999, researchers at NYU uncovered something fascinating called the “chameleon effect.” Basically, we humans can’t help but copy each other, we unconsciously mimic other people’s gestures, posture, or tone. And get this: it actually makes people like you more!
In their study, 72 people worked on tasks with a partner (who worked for the researchers). Some partners subtly mirrored the participant’s behavior, crossing arms, nodding, and that sort of thing, while others didn’t.
When it was all done, the people whose partners mimicked them said they liked them way more than those who didn’t. So, next time you want someone to warm up to you? Try being a bit of a human chameleon!
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#9
In fact, there are plenty of clever psychological tricks to boost your likability. One fun example? Wear red! A 2010 study found that straight women who wore red while talking to straight men were seen as more attractive. Why? Red is a primal color often linked to health, fertility, and confidence. So if you want to test it out, throw on something red for your next date, and you might be surprised by the extra attention!
#10
When my kids challenge me, get angry, I lower my voice. I keep lowering it until they stop to actually be able to hear me.
It resets the “temperature “of the room, and it helps them slow down and refocus.
Same thing with adults. I’ll just respond calmly “I’m not raising my voice- why are you?” And repeat it if necessary until they follow suit.
Problanketlife:
I've also heard with kids (probably more for older ones) to say "I really hope, when you're older, you don't allow someone to speak to you in the way you are speaking to me now".
#11
It will help you recognise your negative thought patterns, it will give you space to look at things with more distance and will help you with not taking your thoughts too seriously all the time.
Like "oh no there is Cruella again, don't take her to serious, she's trying to bring me down again, don't listen to her".
#12
We all think we’re better at validating than we actually are. But it’s easy to get better at it by practising
When you acknowledge to somebody that their emotions make sense, given the situation and/or their life experience, everything gets easier.
Once somebody feels adequately validated, they start to move on their own.
Another simple way to build a quick connection is with a casual, friendly touch. This is called “subliminal touching.” It’s so subtle that the other person hardly notices it, but it still makes them feel warmer toward you. A light tap on the back or a gentle touch on the arm works wonders. In one study by the University of Mississippi and Rhodes College, waitresses who lightly touched customers’ hands or shoulders while giving back their change got noticeably bigger tips than those who didn’t. Just goes to show—a tiny touch can make a big difference!
#13
For example, you might have identified that you are feeling fear over public speaking. The opposite action would be to dive right in an try speaking or asking a question.
For me, it’s helped with my binge eating. When I’m feeling overwhelmed and want to binge, I try to do the opposite and go for a walk or something equally as productive as that.
I’m probably butchering the concept and I know it sounds really simplistic, but when I started to do this, my life started to change in many ways.
#14
#15
If you really want to make an impression on someone, whether it’s a colleague or a crush, try using their name more often. It might seem simple, but hearing your own name gives you a tiny ego boost every time. Research shows that our brains light up in a special way when we hear our name, and we can’t help but respond, even if we’re half-asleep! So next time you want to stand out in someone’s mind, drop their name into the conversation. It’s a subtle trick, but it works like magic.
#16
#17
There's a few reasons this is effective. 1. Instead of a big task, I'm only dedicating 3 minutes to it, with no pressure or expectation to finish it at that moment. 2. Because it's only 3 minutes, I typically spend more time on the task each interval "since I'm already up". 3. Instead of punishing myself for not doing the insurmountable list of things I need to do, I reward myself for the things I am doing.
Before I would look at a long list, start to panic, and not do anything while thinking about it all day. Now I can knock out most of a list with just the initial panic before I start to tackle it.
#18
You probably already know that smiling has tons of benefits, but here’s one more to add to the list: it helps people remember you. A study by researchers at Stanford University and the University of Duisburg-Essen found that people rate their interactions as more positive when the other person smiles. So, flash that genuine smile when you meet someone new. Chances are, you’ll leave a lasting impression.
#19
Please note: I don't mean to say that people never have bad intentions. But 999 times out of 1000, they really don't .
#20
