30 Teachers Say What Meeting With The Parents Was Most Memorable

I’m not a teacher, but a parent, but I want to share this story. In 2015 my husband was shot and killed during (what we presume to be) a carjacking. This happened toward the beginning of the year. I called the school to tell them two of my 3 kids wouldn’t be at school for a week in order to take time off to grieve (my youngest was a baby). So they were very supportive. Came to the funeral. Brought food by my house and came to visit the kids. When the kids went back to school they came back with tons of handmade sympathy cards that the teachers had their students make. They also provided therapy via the psychologist at the school. Anyway, the months are passing by and we’re getting back to normal routine when in December I get a call saying they need to meet with me. The kids are getting good grades, so I’m wondering if there is some kind of behavioral issues going on. When I got there though, they provided us with Christmas gifts that were collected from the teachers and students. I wasn’t in a bad situation financially, but still the gesture meant a lot. So, not a teacher, but as a parent that was my most memorable parent teacher meeting.

I had a parent meeting with the father of one of my students who was a well-known gang leader and drug dealer in the area. He came in looking very intimidating in head-to-toe gang tattoos, and I was nervous, but I treated him as I would any other parent. We had a great meeting in which he asked how to keep his kids on the right track so that they don't end up like him (his words). And he even ended up being one of my most helpful parents, attending every school event and parent meeting and even helping me change my tire one day! That day I learned not to judge a book by its cover.

This was a doozy of a student. Mind you, these are only the meetings I personally participated in or were privy to, which are a fraction of the whole, as I only taught the student for 12 weeks a year.

* Meeting 1: Parents accuse teachers/administrators of being racist for punishing child. Conference was called due to child pulling down pants in class and defecating on another student's desk. 6th grade.

* Meeting 2: Parents bring lawyer with them, threatening to sue me for restraining student after student yells at a girl "Shut up, B***h!" and then backhands her across the face. Their lawyer walked out of the room once he saw the video. 7th Grade.

* Meeting 3: Expulsion hearing, new lawyer, 8th grade. Student brought lighter to school and in the space of 15 minutes lit six trash can fires throughout two wings of the building. Several thousand dollars worth of damage. At this hearing, they claim that my colleague, one of the most caring, gentle male teachers I've ever known, was the instigator of all of this and the reason for their son's acting out. The reason for this was clearly that this teacher was a racist and hated their child. Without batting an eye, my colleague, who by all appearances was Caucasian, began speaking fluently in the family's native language (Vietnamese.) Turns out the guy is quarter Vietnamese and growing up, he spent every summer in Vietnam helping his grandparents, only to live in Vietnam for 5 years teaching after college. Cue collective jaw-drop in the room. Family doubles down. "See! He hates us so much he learned Vietnamese to yell at us!" Expulsion approved, one year school expulsion (not from district, just to another school in district).

* Meeting 4: (Not present at this one) 9th grade, student is being processed through final expulsion hearing for spray painting ethnic slurs about Black students on the gym room lockers. Football and Wrestling students catch him in the act, and proceed to crater his face in. "No witnesses," only evidence tied to him is him bawling on the locker room floor with his backpack full of spray paint. Survives expulsion from district, but is expelled from that school, back to his "home" high school, where I've recently accepted a job.

* Meeting 5 (Present in hallway at the time) 10th grade: Administrator escorting parents to child's locker to pick up their child's belongings. 5'1 genius thought it would be a good idea to hold up someone at knifepoint outside a convenience store. Caught a bullet in the leg instead, bled out before paramedics could do anything. Parents wailing in hallways that this was all our fault, that their kid was just another product of racist education. Give-no-f***s retiring science teacher hears this while she's walking down the hall, turns around in fury and tells them right to their face "School didn't fail your child, you did. Every time he made a mistake you looked to blame someone else. You were validating his terrible behavior. You didn't care when he almost burned down a school, you sure as hell wouldn't have cared if he had stabbed that man. Don't ask us to care for your child more than you ever did."

I’ve been an elementary teacher for 14 years. A few years back during a regular parent/teacher conference, a student’s father listened intently to everything I had so say about his child. Then, he kindly and respectfully asked how his son was developing as a person. Was he kind to others? How could his son grow as a leader? Was he empathetic and attentive to others’ needs? Was he respectful to all adults? At the time it just blew me away.

My students know I'm obsessed with hedgehogs because I always use them in my lessons. Well, on the last night of conferences, one of my favorite students came in with her mom and a fuzzy bag. After I went over all of her child's assessments, she PULLED A FREAKIN' HEDGEHOG OUT OF THAT FUZZY BAG, and I shrieked like a child! I got to hold him for about 30 minutes, and was so giddy. My student's mom informed me that her child talks about me all the time, and wanted to do something cool for me!

"I was meeting with a parent that spoke mostly Spanish, and my Spanish is weak. Turns out, her English was about as bad as my Spanish, so when we couldn't get across an idea, we reverted to charades or grabbed paper and drew things out. By the end, we were laughing so hard! That was, by far, my favorite parent-teacher conference ever!

Our conferences were set up as sort of 'speed dating' sessions in which the teachers gave packets of catch-up work for any kids that were failing. Well, at the end of the evening, a mom and dad plopped down into the chairs in front of my table, defeated, their arms full of fail packets from other teachers. The mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked, 'What does my son do wrong in your class?' I was surprised by her question because I adored her son — he was one of my favorite students! So I took great joy in telling them how their son was an absolute bright spot in my day. And the next day, the student came in, gave me a big hug, and said, 'Thank you.'
I told him that I hope he will treat all his teachers the way he treated me, and he said he would work on it. Well, by the end of the year he passed nearly all of his classes.

I taught an elective course in a large rural high school that charged a nominal fee for supplies. “Mr B,” a parent, did not want to pay the fee and set up an after school meeting to discuss it with me.

I had just been assigned an intern and thought it would be good for her to observe a parent/teacher conference.

Mr. B walked into my classroom, and without any introduction, asked loudly “You know what the problem with the world is today?”

Me: “No sir”

Mr. B : “WOMEN want to live beyond their means, have gone into the workplace and become whores.”

Me: “Okay. Meeting over. Good bye, Mr. B”

Later, his child confided in me that he had been beaten by his father and showed me the bruises. As required by law, I reported the incident to Child Services, who revealed me as the source.

The meeting between us in the principal’s office went like this.

Mr. B “That boy ain’t perfect, either. He hit his stepmother once.”

Me: “Where do you suppose he learned that behavior, Mr. B?”

Principal then had to throw him out when he rose to strike me.

On departing, addressing me, Mr. B stated, “I’ve heard all about you!

I’m thinking, “uh oh, this could be anything”.....

Mr. B: “You’re a strong woman and always get what you want!”

Okay....

Principal, later, “That’s probably the best parent compliment you’ll ever get.”

The son fled the state to live with his mother. He wrote me a thank you note years later.

Mr. B’s ex-wife went on to publish a book on spousal abuse.

Not a bad one, actually.

I had a 7th grade student, Oscar, who I was warned about by other teachers when the year started. "Doesn't take anything seriously...always goofing around", "Doesn't care" etc.

Oscar was actually a ray of sunshine. Such a happy person, kind to everyone, and full of unassuming charisma. Honestly, I would love to be as happy as Oscar. He made the whole class fun for everyone once I embraced the best way to keep him involved in the material (English).

I was really curious about meeting his mother because he didn't make good grades in most subjects, and she didnt seem to care.

She turned out to be a friendly, charismatic and easy-going person who obviously had raised her kids to enjoy being alive and not worry too much about school (before high school/college, at least). A bit of a hippy, but very alert (not space or flakey).

I realized I was kinda jealous of how I imagined their home life to be--and decided that when I had kids I would do my best to raise them like Oscar and his mom.

The one where mom came to conferences and used "what a good fundraiser!" to market her MLM business to me. Needless to say she was also the psychotic "why is my kid not the star" parent later in the year.

When I(f) was student teaching, my mentor teacher(older guy) and I did parent teacher conferences together. We had a female student and her mom come in. This girl never played attention in class and just wanted to hang out and talk to friends, so we put her on the front row. Well evidently she needed something to tell her mom why she was failing this class, and had told her mom that the teacher moved her to the front of the room so he could look down her shirt. So her mom comes in angry and yelling at the teacher that he's a pervert putting her daughter in the front row and sexually harassing her. My mentor teacher just calmly turned to me and said, "have you noticed any of that behavior in this class? You've been the one teaching for the last two months." The mom and daughter went silent. They had forgot that I, another female adult in the room, could witness for my teacher. They quickly left after that, and I think the mom realized her daughter had been lying to her. I felt great being able to protect a fellow teacher from sexual harassment accusations.

My other favorite one that wasn't with a parent. I was meeting with the union and HR to dispute my evaluation ranking. I had no more students because it was finals and seniors had left already. So when the bell rings, one of my students from a different hour pops in, sees that I'm in the middle of some type of important meeting. He apologizes and is unsure what to do. I say, "It's no big deal, what did you need?"

He stood there for a moment and then said, "Sorry for interrupting, I just wanted to give you this gift and say how awesome this year has been and how excited I am to take your class next year." He then handed me a card and a gift and ran out of the room.

My coworker had a meeting with a student's mom and was telling her great things, when the mom suddenly had a stroke and passed out. She died the next day. The teacher made sure to tell the student that the last thing his mom heard was how great he was.

I've had a couple of interesting interactions with parents during my brief time as a classroom teacher, but for some reason, one sticks out in my head. We hadn't even scheduled a parent-teacher conference, but mom was late to pick up her girl and I decided to stay with her homeroom teacher to keep an eye on her while we waited. Now, this girl was in my reading class, and she was quickly developing a reputation of just not reading. She'd keep waiting for me to turn my attention to another kid, then she'd close her book and just do whatever she wanted. It didn't seem any kind of teacher punishment would stop her.

So when mom swept in, looking slightly frazzled, I took the opportunity to mention this problem to her. This woman turned to her child and launched into a fierce diatribe in a language I'd never heard before (but really loved the sound of), and her child immediately started screaming and crying like the fear of god had been put in her. Mom turned to me then and said with narrowed eyes, "If you ever catch her doing it again, text me and tell her Mama's not letting her play with the tablet that night."

The kid shaped up in class, needless to say.

The one in which the mom brought her lawyer — who sat behind her rolling his eyes the whole time.

This was the same mom who — when I addressed her first grader's homework being written in cursive and ink — said, 'Nowhere in the student handbook does it say a parent can't do the child's homework for them.

A parent threw a chair at me once. She believed her son shouldn't have to do homework. She believed that he was a genius. He wasn't.

A 5th grade boy inappropriately touched a girl between her legs. Automatic 3 day suspension. Happened in my class so I was called in to the meeting with the dean.

When the dad came in for the meeting, he couldn’t understand how it was taken that seriously, he’s just a kid, it’s not a big deal, etc. He so mad that it escalated into him punching the dean. School police arrested the guy.

That kid is destined for a f****d up life.

I had a memorable meeting with a mother who had recently gotten pregnant. Her husband showed up late to the conference and she'd just had her 12-week scan that day, so he asked how it went. The mother was clearly salty that he didn't make the appointment, so she just said, 'Fine.' But he decided to press the issue, and that's when she told him that they were expecting triplets. I excused myself to get some water, and when I got back, she was showing him the scans and they were both just bawling.

I had a student who was a bit of a trouble maker. He liked to mess around a lot and it got to the point it was interfering with lessons. We have a meeting with his parents and all his teachers (normal at my school) just to see what was up and if there were any strategies the parents were using at home that could help us out.

The entire time the dad just keeps asking us to confirm that there's something 'wrong' with his child. No sir, he's just acting like a regular 12 year old boy. Turns out the parents were in a messy divorce after dad was having an affair with a much younger lady. Cue all the acting out and positive attention seeking* from the kid.

We signed him up for a bunch of sports and clubs to keep him at school longer, and make some productive friends.

One of my favorite parent-teacher conferences was when I had to explain to a parent that school was Monday through Friday, not Tuesday through Thursday. The parent was legitimately surprised! But I was more shocked that she hadn't noticed all of the students on campus every Monday and Friday at her child's school...which was located DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET from her home!