Pregnancy can be one of the most beautiful experiences and also one of the most challenging. In dire cases when the health of the baby is in question, this can put a lot of pressure on the expecting parents, who may have to make tough choices that they’d rather never be forced to make.
This is what happened to a woman who learned her baby had a fatal fetal abnormality. She made the tough decision to terminate the pregnancy, but her mom did not back her up and instead kept forcing her to carry it to full term.
More info: Reddit
Many people do not understand how difficult it is for expecting parents to have to make tough decisions regarding their pregnancy
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she and her husband learned that their baby had a fatal fetal abnormality, which is why they decided to end their pregnancy
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman didn’t want to carry the baby to term, as she had seen how much her brother, with a fatal fetal abnormality, had suffered because of their parents' decision
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the couple told their family about their decision, the woman’s in-laws and her mom were insistent that she get a second opinion and carry the baby to term
Image credits: PracticalAnon045321
The woman told her mom that she didn’t want to let her baby suffer the way her brother did, which left her mom shocked and displeased
The poster and her husband were extremely heartbroken because after trying for a baby for two years, they finally got pregnant, only to learn that the fetus had a fatal abnormality. Knowing that the child might end up suffering if they gave birth to it led them to the difficult decision of ending the pregnancy.
According to experts, nearly 2% of pregnancies are diagnosed with some kind of congenital anomaly every single year. These conditions can be fatal or even lethal. Medical practitioners need to inform parents about this once they have detected it so that they can make an informed decision about the pregnancy.
The OP was especially torn up about the issue because her parents had been through a similar situation. She saw how her brother had suffered because her mom and dad decided to carry the baby to term. After all, they didn’t accept what the doctors had said about his condition. This had traumatized the woman, and she didn’t want to do the same thing to her baby.
Deciding to end the pregnancy is not an easy decision and can make the parents feel a tremendous amount of grief. Learning about the abnormal findings and then having to readjust their expectations of a safe and healthy pregnancy can be devastating. The OP and her husband were already dealing with so much, and on top of that, had to fend off her mom’s expectations.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman was sure about her decision to terminate the pregnancy, and so she and her husband decided to break the news to their inner circle. Her in-laws felt that she should get a second opinion, and her mother wanted her to carry the child to term because she felt that nature should take its course.
This is a deeply personal decision that nobody else should be allowed to weigh in on. Although family members may feel the need to share their opinions, only the parents should decide whether they feel comfortable going ahead with the difficult pregnancy or not.
Some people also call it ‘baby loss for medical reasons’ to describe the fact that they weren’t ending an unwanted pregnancy of a healthy baby and that it was, in fact, a painful decision with very few options. The OP also knew that she had no other choice because she didn’t want her child to suffer, but her family members didn’t seem to understand that.
Since her mom was pestering her so much about the decision, she finally confronted her and said that she didn’t want to let her child suffer selfishly. Instead, she was making the selfless choice that would protect it from more pain. This obviously left her mom shocked, and it was a harsh but necessary confrontation.
Do you think the woman could have set boundaries with her mother any other way? How would you have handled this confrontation? Let us know your thoughts down below.
People sided with the poster and told her that it was her choice to make and not her mother’s
