Dealing with a toxic parent can be both frustrating and exhausting. Things only get worse when they’re estranged but in the habit of asking you for favors, monetary or otherwise. That kind of behavior only ever puts everyone in an awkward situation.
One person was taken aback when their toxic mother (who abandoned them at 15) showed up at their apartment under the guise of missing them, but actually intent on demanding a fat slice of their inheritance. They took to the web seeking advice.
More info: Reddit
Toxic parents are the worst, as this person found out the hard way
Image credits: DC Studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After their mother kicked them out at 15, their father took them in and they spent the next ten years bonding
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the dad suddenly passed away from cancer, he left them everything in his last will and testament
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Their estranged mom found out about their windfall and drove 14 hours across states to come begging for a share of the will that was never left to her
Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She rudely demanded her slice of the pie for raising them, but the person just kicked her out
Image credits: Bright_Skies_Ahead
Now the person is wondering online if they should give her some cash just to get her out of their life again
OP begins their story by telling the community that their father passed away from cancer the previous week after a relatively short battle. They go on to explain that their dad had been raising them since their mom kicked them out at 15 amidst a web of lies about how their father wanted nothing to do with them.
Now 24, OP admits that their dad helped them work out many of their issues and that the pair had formed a close bond. When their dad passed, he left them everything in his will, including cash and most of his stuff.
Well, out of nowhere, OP’s estranged mom showed up at their door, despite OP moving states away 3 years ago. Not about to be swayed by her claims of missing them, OP flat out asked her how she got their address and why she was there. She responded by saying she’d got their info from OP’s aunt, their dad’s little sister, and that she had just wanted to check in on them.
It didn’t take long before their mom found a way to turn the conversation around to what they got in the will. When OP was honest with her, she demanded a share of the inheritance. OP told her that wasn’t going to happen, but she freaked out, prompting them to send her packing.
In the conclusion to their post, OP asks netizens whether or not they should just give her some so-called unpaid child support to get rid of her for another 10 years.
It would definitely seem their mother is a nasty piece of work. If you’ve ever had to deal with someone even remotely like her, you can probably relate.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, considering their dilemma, what can OP do to deal with any misguided feelings of loyalty towards the worrisome woman? And is there any way to cut her off for good, if need be? We went looking for answers.
In her article for Parents, Kimberly Zapata offers up some advice on how to mourn the loss of an estranged parent. Zapata explains that, while grief is a complex experience, grief associated with the loss of a still-living person—particularly, a still-living parent—is complicated in its own right.
“Grieving the loss of a still-living parent is complex because the absence of a parent can be confusing, uncomfortable, and/or difficult to come to terms with,” explains GinaMarie Guarino, a licensed mental health counselor at PsychPoint.
Kara Nassour, a licensed professional counselor practicing at Shaded Bough Counseling, recommends reaching out to people who will hear your experiences without judgment, including friends, relatives, and support groups.
If OP’s mother won’t respect their boundaries and keeps hounding them, they could always turn to a restraining order. According to the wikiHow Legal website, once granted, it will generally prevent the abusive person from contacting you or coming within 100 yards of you. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, for OP’s sake.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to clinical psychologist Dr. David Rosenstein to get his take on the matter.
When we asked Dr. Rosenstein what he thought of the entitled mom's behavior and whether she has a right to a piece of the inheritance, he responded, "I don't think she has a right to the money. Not in any legal way it appears, and not even from a psychological perspective."
Rosenstein went on to add that, especially based the historical behavior circumstances, the mother's behavior absolves any entitlement.
We asked Dr. Rosenstein how he would advise OP to handle any future harassment from their toxic mom.
"Strong boundaries and not to give at this stage. Doing so will likely set up an expedient dynamic or entrench a possible existent one."
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think their mother has any right to their inheritance, or did they do the right thing by giving her the boot? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly concluded that the person shouldn’t give the entitled woman a dime and should shut down any attempt at negotiation
