We can't get along with everyone in our lives; that's just a fact that we have to deal with. At the same time, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't at least try.
Apparently, this thought hasn't crossed the OP's future MIL's mind. She started their first-ever meeting with a relatively obscene question and when the woman's answer didn't please her, that's when it all started rolling downhill. In the end, the situation got so bad that she decided to sacrifice her family heirloom just so her son wouldn't marry his girlfriend.
More info: Reddit
Even though it's impossible to get along with every single person in our lives, it doesn't mean we shouldn't try
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Ever since the first meeting with her boyfriend's mom, this woman knew she was disliked by her
Image credits: Stockbusters / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The dislike started with inappropriate questions and remarks about the woman's appearance and religion
Image credits: cottonbro studio/ Pexels (not the actual photo)
Then, the mother tried stealing the woman's driving license to run a background check, as well as dragging her 12-year-old niece's looks
Image credits: lipik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The last straw came when the mother saw that her son was about to propose to the woman with his grandmother's ring
Image credits: Brightside256
Unable to bear this idea, she snatched the ring and threw it down a storm drain, sacrificing the family heirloom
The OP had been dating her boyfriend for a while before she met his mother, which turned out to be “the biggest surprise” in their relationship.
For instance, one of the first things she ever said to the author was the question “Are you Jewish?” Even though the woman isn’t, it’s still rather an odd question to ask, especially as the first one. Typically, you first get to know a person on a more lowkey basis, by asking questions about their favorite food, music, or interests before going to religious affiliation.
When the future mother-in-law learned that her son’s girlfriend wasn’t Jewish, she immediately started acting as if the young woman didn’t exist, which broke her heart, as this isn’t how everyone hopes the first meeting with a significant other’s parents will go. After all, if you’re planning a future with your partner, what their parents think matters, and first impressions greatly influence that.
Later, the silence was broken, but just to make things worse, the man’s mom asked the OP about her hair color genetics and then decided to make an untimely “Does the carpet match the drapes?” joke. If you know, you know.
To make matters worse, when the woman didn’t answer, the MIL said that if she didn’t tell, she’d ask her son, which stunned everyone even further. Finally, when she let go of this untimely gag, she started yapping about how the woman’s hair was too curly and that she should think about her appearance when she was with her son. Or commenting on her weight. Basically, she just went on insulting her son’s girlfriend.
So, the first meeting with her SO’s parents was a total bust. The other ones weren’t any better, even though her boyfriend was trying to convince his mom to behave. During another meeting, his mom attempted to steal the original poster’s driving license, so she could do a background check.
Image credits: Duy Ngô / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The next time, she proceeded to make fun of the author’s 12-year-old niece’s appearance, which led both women to confrontation and the MIL wailing and demanding her son throw out his girlfriend, which he didn’t. Kind of reminds me of those boy moms who can’t deal with the fact that their sons love someone else besides them, doesn’t it?
In fact, he had other plans. When his mother understood what he had planned, her wailing turned into a full-blown incoherent meltdown. The only thing the OP could decipher was derogatory comments towards her.
When the couple tried to leave, the mother snatched a small box out of her son’s hands. Apparently, he had been planning to propose to his girlfriend with his grandma’s ring, but his mom couldn’t stand such an idea. She screamed at the young woman, ran outside, and threw the box down a storm drain.
Naturally, such a turn of events shocked everyone and broke his grandmother’s heart. Now her ring, rather than continuing in the family like she always wanted, was gone.
OP is considering asking her partner to cut contact with his mother, but wonders if such a request is reasonable coming from her. It’s his mother, after all. At the same time, it’s not uncommon for adults to distance themselves from their parents, especially if they’re detrimental to their well-being, and this mother radiates toxicity.
As netizens said (besides suggesting how the family could retrieve the ring), the only solution here is to have an honest conversation with her future husband and figure out how they can manage his relationship with his mom in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone too much. Let’s just hope they’ll be able to do so.
Netizens suggested the woman and other family members ways to retrieve the ring, but she revealed it didn't work, which only made the whole thing worse
