Reciprocity is one of our innate traits as evolved human beings. If someone does us a solid favor, it’s natural for us to respond with another helpful deed.
However, some situations can be tricky. Here, a mother allowed her son’s partner to live with them until she found a place of her own. In turn, the young woman offered to cook meals for the family. Things became slightly uncomfortable when the girlfriend refused to heed the mom’s reasonable request.
Tensions rose when the son eventually became involved. Scroll down for the entire story.
It may seem like a good idea to live with a significant other’s family, especially if you are on good terms with them
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
This wasn't the case with a young woman, who had to live with her boyfriend's family
Image credits: ArthurHidden/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Issues arose when she refused to comply with a reasonable request from her boyfriend's mom
Image credits: lackoffeminity
Cohabitating with a partner’s family will come with issues
Even if you’re on the best of terms with your significant other’s family, tensions may arise because of the change in dynamics. Boundaries may be stepped on, albeit unintentionally.
As the online counseling agency Therapevo points out, having an additional person in the household may affect finances, among other things. This may be especially true if the individual is not contributing to the household income, as with the son’s girlfriend.
Therapevo also pointed out potential issues for couples who rely on the financial resources of the owner of the house, in this case, the mom.
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
“If you are relying on financial help from your parents, your parents may expect to have a say in how the house is run or even on where you spend money on renovations or decorations,” an excerpt from the article reads, which also notes that such situations may lead to frustration and conflict.
Cohabitation arrangements are bound to be problematic without the necessary boundaries in place. Apart from that, proper communication is also key, and it comes down to mutual respect.
"To have a productive conversation, it's vital to establish emotional safety by actively listening to what the person is saying and understanding the emotions behind their words," licensed psychologist Dr. Andrea Polard told Brides.
There appears to be a lack of clear communication between the three parties. The mom’s request was indeed reasonable, but she may have expressed it in a way that made the girlfriend uncomfortable. Likewise, the son may have overreacted.
It may help if all three of them sat down to talk and clear the air on matters that needed clarification.
Many commenters sided with the mom
However, some people thought everyone was at fault
