MIL Tosses Christmas Gift To The Side After Learning DIL Bought It, Regrets It A Year Later

Picking out a gift is risky business, particularly if the person has strong opinions but won’t actually share a wish list. At the same time, you have to balance expectations, who else gets a gift, costs, time, energy, and a whole slew of other things.

A woman shared her frustration with a MIL who would regularly be unhappy with her gifts, even if it was exactly what she wanted. Instead, she would make it clear when she didn’t like something, so OP decided that enough was enough. Instead of taking the hint, the MIL concluded that this was a good reason to start a conflict.

It goes without saying that the vast majority of mothers-in-law are perfectly fine, normal, and not at all hostile. However, the popularity and heritage of MIL jokes, as well as a few, select horrible cases tend to be enough to create this impression. At the same time, the existence of the “Just No MIL” online group suggests that it does still go wrong often enough.

With nearly 2 million members, the group is a place for people to vent about their in-laws, with a general focus on the MIL. At the same time, there are still many “horror” stories about fathers-in-law, but, for better or worse, bad fathers are bad for being disengaged from the family, as opposed to the stereotypical MIL who is too engaged in the family.

The hostility towards MIL, whether real or imagined, goes back centuries, with some evidence that even the ancient Romans were familiar with the trope of the overbearing, rude, and hostile mother of one’s spouse. This is commonly due to the, also potentially real or imagined, belief from the MIL that their child’s spouse is simply not good enough and won’t treat their precious angel right.

Given the abundance of these jokes, scientists have even been able to research what mothers actually think about them. One study discovered that mothers "they tended not to be upset by jokes because they seemed so far-fetched they couldn't apply to them, but they didn't find them funny," which might suggest that they didn’t necessarily reveal their true emotions on the topic.

Interestingly, the study also found daughters-in-law, regardless of marital status also tended to not find MIL jokes funny. The researchers suggested that this was because the DIL understood that, someday, these jokes might be turned against her. Given the existence of the aforementioned internet group, this is perhaps a prudent concern.

However, it’s important to note that hating a person just because they are an in-law is ridiculous. OP’s complaint isn’t that this person is her MIL, it’s that she is genuinely unpleasant. She is picky and demanding, but won’t raise a finger to help someone actually figure out the gift that she wants.

At the same time, she complains about the presents she was given, even if they were exactly what she wanted. Her reasons are her own, but this is just unpleasant and annoying behavior. Demanding to get the receipts from your DIL right after receiving the gift is tacky, no matter who you are.

As with so many entitled people, the MIL didn’t seem to realize just how off-putting her behavior was. Normally, a petty and passive-aggressive person is trying to convey a message, but here it’s just a representation of her being annoying and horrible to be around. Because the first gift was the right one, there was nothing to complain about. Instead, she dedicated that she would just give herself some drama so she can feel like a victim. The fact that now she simply will be a victim of no gifts is just some poetic irony.