They say when you marry, you marry the family. And although the idea is frustrating, suggesting that you have no choice but to put up with the unforeseen nonsense of your other family, there is a drop of truth to it. Or rather, an entire sea.
And while some in-laws become your best second family, bringing joy and fulfillment, others turn out to be a pain in the neck there’s no remedy for. This is the case with a woman who recently shared her story on the Mumsnet forum.
“My MIL lives across town and has a tendency to just turn up on the doorstep unannounced and uninvited,” she wrote. Being “a very private person and quite introverted,” the woman explained that she needs time to prepare herself mentally for any extended visits or socializing. But her MIL clearly doesn’t see that.
When the unannounced visits became the norm, the only solution was to show the MIL it is not her house.
Image credits: Ashwin Vaswani (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Geoffrey Whiteway (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified mindful lifestyle & stress management coach and author of The Quiet Zone, who shared some very useful advice on dealing with in-laws, which can be truly touchy. “You don't want to put your partner in between their parent and you - that's not fair,” she said. Petang explained that one of the first things she advises her clients to do is put themselves in their in-laws' shoes. “Why do you think they are doing what they're doing? (And no, 'She's just a jerk!' or, 'She just hates me!' aren't good answers.)”
Petang suggests asking yourself a couple of key questions: “Maybe THEIR mothers/mothers-in-law did that to THEM - so they think it's OK. Maybe they're worried about you, or think they're actually helping. Maybe they are too attached to their child, and they're anxious. Wow, it must suck to be them, don't you think?”
“By having some compassion for what they're feeling or understanding why they're doing what they're doing, it doesn't justify their behavior, but it does take away some of your anger over the situation,” the life coach explained.
“Ask yourself, 'How important is this, really?' Are they just inconveniencing you, or are they TRULY interfering in your lives? Take your emotions out of the picture, and view the situation through the eyes of an outsider,” Petang said and added “If you had a friend who was going through this, what would you advise THEM to do?
This is what people had to comment in response to the story
