It’s not uncommon for parents to use tough love to help their children or to teach them a valuable lesson. But some might take their teachings too far, often only making things needlessly difficult for their child.
One redditor recently opened up about her experience with a parent ‘teaching them a lesson.’ The netizen’s mother decided that it was time for her “to experience the realities of the world,” so she kicked her daughter out on the streets. But the OP didn’t let the realities or their mother’s negativity bring her down and created a life worth living for herself.
Some parents focus a little too much on the ‘tough’ part when it comes to tough love
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This woman kicked her daughter out of her home to teach her a lesson
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There are many factors that influence what kind of parents people are
Unfortunately, there isn’t one right way of parenting, nor is there a handbook. So people have to figure it all out by themselves, using whatever resources, support, or intuition they have.
Delving deeper into what makes moms and dads the kind of parents they are, child and adolescent psychiatrist and author of Parenting Made Complicated: What Science Really Knows about the Greatest Debates of Early Childhood, David Rettew M.D., noted that there are a number of different factors at play here. In a piece for Psychology Today, he pointed out seven main influences that, while in no particular order, tend to influence and shape people’s ways of parenting the most.
According to the expert, one of the main things that influences how people treat their children is the way they were treated as children themselves. “We had a front-row seat for many years to make an indelible impression on us. If not our model, then at least the example of our own parents is the template or default mode from which we can adjust,” Rettew wrote.
Similarly, the things one’s parents didn’t do, even though they probably should have, can also make a big difference. The expert suggested that some people provide “a glaring example of what not to do,” which their kids vow not to follow.
Rettew continued to suggest that such things as culture and values, as well as the parent’s personality and the behavior of their child, play a significant role when it comes to parenting styles, too. Lastly, there’s the advice moms and dads get from those around them—be it their aunts, friends, or even strangers—and the scientific material they can land their hands on, which can provide useful insight on how to ‘parent.’
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Nearly as many people choose the same parenting style their own parents did as take a completely different approach
Interestingly, in the US, at least, the share of people who choose a parenting style similar to that of their own parents (43%) is nearly the same as those who take a completely different approach (44%).
Pew Research Center found that there are several main dimensions of family life that people approach differently or the same way their folks did. The main differences regarding parenting styles were how parents approached love and relationships, behavior, and discipline. Among the things that people did similar to their own parents, the main one was instilling the same values and views on religion.
The OP shared that her mom kicked her out on the street so she would “experience the realities of the world and struggle” the same way her mother did. While it’s unclear whether or not that’s something her own parents did to her, the OP’s mother wanted her daughter to go down the same path, though she didn’t want her child to get a degree despite having one herself.
Be that as it may, the OP went to university, nevertheless, and got not only a degree but a wonderful partner, too. In her own words, she “enabled herself to build a life worth living,” which is what some Redditors applaud her for. Others, however, focused more on other comments the OP made.
Image credits: Alex P (not the actual photo)
Fellow netizens shared their thoughts in the comments, the OP replied to some of them
Some people called the woman out on certain comments she made
A few people believed that the mother might have ended up doing her daughter a favor
