Sometimes, you will need to light a fire under someone to get things done. It could be a subordinate slacking on the job, a partner who refuses to take the relationship seriously, or, as in the case of this story, family members who refuse to help around the house.
A mom had been struggling to keep her household in order because her husband and four children didn’t do their part in cleaning up. Fed up with the disorder, she kept the house in a filthy state, sending everyone a message to finally take action.
However, her methods didn’t sit well with her mother-in-law, who got herself involved and threatened to involve the authorities.
A mom has grown fed up with the disorderly state of their home
Image credits: deriabinanatalia (not the actual photo)
Her husband and two older children refuse to pick up after themselves, causing her a great deal of frustration
Image credits: natalialebedinskaia (not the actual photo)
She opts for some reverse psychology as a last resort, but her methods cause a stir with her mother-in-law
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Reverse psychology is a double-edged sword
The woman turned to doing reverse psychology on her family, seemingly out of frustration and as a last-ditch attempt to get them to cooperate. And according to her, they were beginning to get the hint and devising a plan to deal with the mess.
The drawback of this approach is that it may backfire.
According to educator and mental health professional Kendra Cherry, MSed, reverse psychology may feel like a form of manipulation, especially when done often. It may also backfire when used on a person with low self-esteem who struggles to trust their own judgment.
Meanwhile, this tactic may be effective for individuals who are resistant to change. However, the approach must be more about reinforcing autonomy, according to Yale School of Medicine psychologist Dr. Michael Pantalon.
In an article for Psychology Today, Dr. Pantalon emphasizes that using reverse psychology on a stubborn individual must be done in a way that does not make the other person feel like they are being coerced into doing something they don’t want to.
“Instead of saying, ‘You have to do x, y, or z,’ say, ‘Whether or not you do x, y, or z, is totally up to you; it’s your choice. I really can’t force you to,’” he wrote.
The woman’s approach was already working until the mother-in-law intervened and blew things out of proportion. When dealing with an overbearing in-law, trying to meet their expectations wouldn’t be a good idea, according to licensed clinical social worker Brooke Schwartz.
“Instead of doing this, focus on what you need and want in your life,” Schwartz advises, adding that setting boundaries is still the number one course of action.
The woman did a good job standing her ground and letting her mother-in-law know clearly where the problem lies. Her strong reactions were understandable.
Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
The woman provided more information about her story
Most people sided with her, as some people offered their advice
