Many years ago, when I was a teen, I asked my mom to go to a sportswear store and buy me a jersey of my favorite football team. With my savings, for sure. I was sick and couldn't go with her, and when she came back, she told me that she saw the jersey and didn't like its colors, but she bought me a "prettier" one. And she then presented me with... yes, a jersey of my team's archrival!
What I'm getting at is that often even the most sincere desires of our parents to help us turn into outright fails. And when we don't show delight and gratitude for this "help," they invariably get offended. As, for example, happened to the mother of the user Blubstering - the author of today's story.
More info: Mumsnet
The author of the post recently delivered a baby and her mom volunteered to help her around the house while she was in the hospital
Image credits: Tom Fisk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
When the new mom returned home, she was stunned to see that the mom had redecorated her lounge drastically
Image credits: Blubstering
Image credits: wuttichai1983 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The lady had repainted the walls from a soft taupe, off-white to mid-gray and royal purple
Image credits: Blubstering
Image credits: Ksenia Chernaya / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author felt so exhausted she couldn't say anything but she asked the mom to leave
Image credits: Blubstering
The mom texted back soon after expecting praise but got incredibly offended when the author told her she wasn't happy at all
So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she recently delivered a baby, and they both had to stay in the hospital due to some unexpected health issues. The author's husband was with her all this time, and her mother volunteered to help around the house. For example, with cleaning and whatnot. And so, when the health of the new mom and baby was fine, they returned home...
And there our heroine was in for a surprise! It turns out that during this time her mom repainted the walls in her lounge. Previously, they were a soft taupe, off-white, which, according to the OP, was in perfect harmony with their oak furniture. And now two walls were a mid-gray, and the other two were royal purple. But another problem was that the mom's enthusiasm was clearly not equal to her painting skills.
The walls were painted sloppily, leaving streaks of paint in many places, the window frames were also covered with paint, and in some corners, the paint was laid extremely unevenly. We must give credit to our heroine - she didn't say anything to her mother and simply stated that she was very tired. The mother got the hint and left, and only then did the original poster burst into tears in helplessness.
And then the mother texted her, clearly expecting praise. And when the OP delicately hinted that she, to put it mildly, didn't like at least the colors, that decent lady got incredibly offended. Then the author's father entered the game, accusing the daughter of upsetting her mom. In short, now our heroine is forced to look at the walls hastily painted in bright colors, and her parents do not talk to her...
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
"Unfortunately, some parents really allow themselves to violate the personal boundaries of their already adult children in every possible way, disguising it as a sincere desire to help," says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment here. "And such unsolicited 'manifestations of help' should be actually suppressed whenever possible."
"In my opinion, this woman should have immediately told her mother that she was unhappy with the unsolicited repairs she had done. Especially since the repairs were deeply lame and unprofessional. I understand that she was too exhausted from childbirth and subsequent health problems, but her parents' behavior seems too inappropriate."
"In this situation, it seems to me that the author should, when she feels well and confident enough for a serious conversation, explain to her parents that such behavior is totally unacceptable and demand compensation or at least an apology. Otherwise, they will continue to invade her privacy as this is a fairly typical situation," Maria sums up.
To say that people in the comments were stunned by the brusque behavior of the author's mom is actually to say nothing. Our heroine received unanimous support, and the only thing the responders reproached her for was that she should’ve immediately put her parents in their place. "Paint it back and send her the bill," someone aptly advised. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this situation?
People in the comments sided with the author, also urging her to repaint the lounge and send her parents the bill
