Many people have relatives they can't stand or at least that often they don't get along with. For some, it's uncles, cousins, or someone else they don't have that much contact with. For others, this member can even be someone as close as a parent.
That's the exact situation of today's OP. Her mom drives her mad by ruining every single party she's at, usually by saying something so terrible that everyone holds their breath. And then, when someone tries to uninvite her, she always finds a way to manipulate her way back and cause further chaos.
More info: Mumsnet
Sometimes it feels like certain people are deliberately being a menace to their family members
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Like the author's mom, who always says or does something to ruin every party she's at
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk/ Pexels (not the actual photo)
For example, she brings up death, funerals and burials while everyone is eating cake or secretly eats the expensive sweets her grandchild gets as a present
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Another time, when she was responsible for bringing a cake for her grandson, she brought one she liked and he despised
Image credits: Mememeandmeagain
So, it's no wonder why all of this insufferable behavior is driving her daughter mad, to the point that she asked for advice online on what she should do
The main reason why the OP became one in the first place is her mom. To be more specific, the mom’s entitlement, which usually shows itself at children’s parties. There are plenty of examples of it.
For instance, one of the OP’s kids doesn’t have that many friends, as she was bullied at school. So, her birthday party guests usually are her family, which, of course, includes her grandma. While parents and other family members can be great companions to fill the hours for kids and teenagers, sadly, they can’t replace the bond that a kid forms with friends. Still, it's better than them being alone.
One time, during this girl's birthday, the girl was thrilled that her mom's colleagues had remembered to text happy birthday to her. This caught grandma's ear. So, she said something like “I’m so shocked. I thought no one cared about your birthday other than me, I thought I was the only one wishing you a happy birthday every year.”
Another party the woman ruined the vibe of was the OP’s cousin’s sweet 16. While they were eating cake, out of nowhere the author’s mom started talking about how her uncle died sitting on the toilet and how she wouldn’t want to die that way.
While it's quite an embarrassing way to go, it is pretty common. In fact, it’s common enough to have a full-blown Wikipedia article listing people who died this way. It contains such famous names as Judy Garland and Elvis Presley. Still, even though this type of passing is common and even celebrities aren’t immune to it, it doesn’t mean it’s a good topic to discuss during cake eating. The original poster’s mom clearly missed that memo.
Apparently, this woman likes discussing death in general, not just bathroom-related passings. During one of the author’s nephew’s birthdays, again while they were eating the cake, she brought up funerals and burials. She talked about putting up a nice gravestone for her parents, saving for her funeral, and her aversion to being cremated.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
These mentioned cases aren’t the only times she managed to ruin a party’s vibe. As we said in the beginning, there are plenty of examples. She also called her daughter’s cousin a deadweight and a liability during her birthday just because she got a diagnosis that left her unable to stand or move. Saying that to someone on an ordinary day is a terrible move, but on someone’s birthday… Well, it’s way more than awful.
Also, one time she was trusted to buy a cake for her grandson’s birthday, and instead of buying something he liked, she picked her favorite one. When confronted about it, she started going on about how she was allowed to buy any cake she liked. Once she also ate the expensive sweets and cake her grandson was gifted by his father. As we can see, her track record with cake-related activities isn’t good.
What makes matters even worse is that anytime her daughter asks her to stop this kind of behavior, she ignores her, finds a way to justify it, or acts like a victim. So, it's no wonder the OP is slowly losing her mind when it comes to this.
So, she vented about it online, and folks found it confusing why the family remained in contact with her. All of this sounds upsetting, and she shouldn’t be invited to the parties, as she keeps ruining them.
To this, the author answered that she doesn’t want to invite her, but the mom manipulates her way into the parties over and over again. She goes to the kids, tells them she won’t do anything bad again, and cries until they cave in. According to the OP, she has always been mean, but she started showing her true colors to everyone in the last couple of years.
Well, at this point we don’t even know what we could advise the woman to do. Common sense (and netizens) says that she should stop giving in to her mom’s manipulations and inviting her to parties, but sometimes standing up for yourself isn’t as easy as it sounds. We can only hope that one day she’ll find the strength in herself to do that.
Netizens were shocked that someone could be so awful and told the woman to stop inviting her mom, but she clarified that it isn't that easy, as she always manipulates her way back
