Mind-bogglingly large sums of money have an unusual effect on people—they reveal their real values and character. There’s nothing like a sudden inheritance of $250k to make you realize that one of your loved ones might be willing to throw all decency out the window to get rich.
A woman went viral online after explaining how her mom tried to pressure and manipulate her into signing over a massive inheritance she got from her dad. When she gently pushed back, her mom showed her true colors. Read on for the story, internet users’ incredibly spot-on advice, and the author’s update.
Families can quickly tear themselves apart over large sums of money
A woman asked for advice after her mom started pressuring her into giving up her quarter-million inheritance
At the end of the day, healthy relationships mean that you can have tough and honest discussions without falling apart
Ideally, as a family, you’re able to have open, honest, and transparent conversations about important topics like money. Everyone is grieving after the passing of a loved one, so it is natural that many relatives are on edge. And yet, this is not an excuse to be manipulative. Nor is it an excuse to pressure someone into giving up their portion of the inheritance, assigned to them in the will.
You can have questions. You can have doubts. You can certainly have concerns. But at the end of the day, it’s a huge red flag if you think the deceased has made a ‘mistake’ and it should be ‘corrected’ by you receiving more than your fair share. It’s not a good look. And it’s certainly not how any mother should treat her children. It reeks of a cheap cash grab.
A healthy approach would be to have transparent and respectful conversations about the inheritance, grief, and relationships. Everyone should get the opportunity to explain how they feel, as well as what their intentions are.
What’s more, you should steer clear of jumping to any assumptions about any of your family members’ financial situations and about what they do or do not ‘deserve.’ Often, family arguments over money are rarely about the money itself, but rather about being treated fairly and feeling valued.
Even if things escalate and someone decides to take legal action, this doesn’t necessarily spell the end of your family. For example, solicitor and mediator Claire Webb, from Family Solutions Now, explained to the BBC that clients tend to dredge up historic feelings of unfairness. However, often, they find amicable solutions to their rows.
“Most of the time there is a deep-down family bond – and if you can crack what started the problem, they often find a way through,” she said.
Once you receive your share of the inheritance, the important thing is to slow down and create a responsible financial plan. Don’t rush
Meanwhile, no matter how big or small your inheritance, the best thing you can do is manage it as wisely as you can. For one, you ought to set realistic expectations. The money you think you might get might not actually be what you get at the end of the day.
“If you're expecting a large inheritance one day but have yet to receive the money, don't count on it. Things can change. Your relative or other benefactor might incur large medical or nursing home bills at the end of their life. They may decide to leave it all to charity. They may be swindled by a con artist,” Investopedia warns.
Once you do get the money and assets, be patient and don’t rush anywhere. Focus on your grieving process instead. In the meantime, reach out to financial experts and planners for their advice. Think about paying off your debt and diversified investment opportunities. And of course, depending on where you live, you may need to pay taxes based on the size of your inheritance.
Go ahead and treat yourself to something nice (money is there to be spent, after all), but don’t burn through everything. No matter what, enjoy yourself, but be responsible with the money. “It's your money now. But it's worth remembering that when it's gone, it's gone, whereas if you invest sensibly, you'll likely have it for years to come. You might even be able to pass it down to your own heirs someday.”
Have you ever gotten into a serious argument with your family members over money? What happened, and did you manage to move past it? What would you do if someone you love tried to manipulate you into giving up something that belongs to you? How do you protect your boundaries from your loved ones? We want to hear from you! Share your experiences, opinions, and advice below.
The story started going viral, and netizens asked the author to share more details, so she did
Here's what other readers said about the tense family drama. Many people shared practical advice with the woman
After considering everyone's advice, the woman shared what happened in her family next
She later gave even more context
Here are some other internet users' perspectives about the falling out over the huge inheritance
