New Mom Complains About MIL Not Buying A Car Seat On Her Own Dime, Gets A Reality Check Online

One great part of being close with your extended family is the ability to use them as free childcare, particularly if both parents are working. But it’s important to understand that free help doesn’t mean that you now have on-call servants.

A woman asked the internet if she was wrong for refusing to buy her MIL a car seat after she enlisted her to drive around her newborn. Despite her husband offering to find and deliver the car seat, the woman insisted her MIL do it herself. Netizens were quick to call her out for her behavior.

For those who are not familiar with car safety rules, the mother is not talking about a literal car seat. This is something most cars come equipped with. A child safety seat is something that is specifically designed for infants and kids of various ages. For infants and toddlers in particular, this sort of equipment is absolutely mandatory.

So the mother, for some reason, insisting on maintaining her dubious, moral high ground over this topic is beyond entitled. Yes, it would be more convenient if the MIL simply used the existing seat, but this means a constant juggling of it. Even if the other grandmother does most of the babysitting, there is no doubt that the MIL will end up looking after the child again.

As so many commenters noted, this mom is getting not one but two basically free nannies. Not only does she have a trusted person to perform childcare, but this trusted person even has a backup. This even includes a backup car and driver. Most parents, particularly of a newborn, would kill for this sort of opportunity. Looking after a child, driving it around and all the other tasks are by no means easy, this is why a stay-at-home parent can be considered a full time job.

Instead, this mom is willing to give up an entire caretaker and instigate an argument with her husband over the fact that she won’t buy a car seat. It’s clearly not a question of money, the husband seems ready and willing to buy one. After all, as so many readers noted, free childcare is very valuable.

This mom would no doubt “make back” the cost of this car seat in free childcare. Getting this seat is an investment and it creates a decent amount of flexibility for the future. Being antagonistic over some sort of misguided pride is an ugly and short sighted. Having family in your life, willing to help is worth its weight in gold. Maybe it comes with some additional stress and strings attached, but free is free.

After all, at some point, the grandmother might be busy or incapacitated. Setting aside the fact that “using” your parents for free childcare can be questionable, if they are willing, then why not. This mom needs to understand that the vast majority of the population has absolutely no interest in looking after your kids, so you should cherish and support those who do. Parenting is a wild ride, so it can always be useful to have some help.