Hugs and kisses from relatives are nice, but only with consent. That’s what one mother and TikTok video creator is trying to get her daughter’s grandparents to understand.
Australian mom Brittany Baxter shared a series of TikTok videos where she discussed how her daughter’s grandparents overstep the boundaries that she’s set out for her child. They ignore their grandchild’s ‘no’ and kiss and hug her anyway. Or they feel hurt that the kid doesn’t want affection at that very moment.
Check out Brittany’s videos below and be sure to let us know what you think, dear Pandas. Plenty of people supported Brittany enforcing strict boundaries and teaching her daughter about consent and body autonomy. However, others were more critical of this approach. And consent is a difficult topic to broach because it’s not always expressed overtly and can be implied and tacit.
Australian mom Brittany explained why grandparents can't hug and kiss her daughter without consent. Here's her first TikTok in a series of videos
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: brittanybaxter_x
Image credits: Juan Pablo (not the actual photo)
The Routledge Encyclopedia of Philosophy points out that consent can be given in multiple different ways that can be either completely direct and overt to less so. However, in order for consent to gain “binding force,” it has to meet certain criteria. These conditions (which must be fulfilled in order for consent to be consent) are: knowledge, intention, competence, voluntariness, and acceptability of content.
To put it very simply, the person whose consent you’re trying to get, whether for a hug or a doctor’s check-up, needs to understand what they’re agreeing to. That way they know what they’re in for. Meanwhile, in the grownup world, the party asking for consent provides services without fear of legal retribution.
“In standard cases, a person’s consent to another person’s acts removes moral or legal objections to or liability for the performance of those acts,” the Routledge Encyclopedia of Philosophy writes.
The mom also explained how to deal with confrontations that will naturally arise because of this style of parenting in another video
More and more parents are raising their children to understand the importance of consent from a very early age. This style of parenting emphasizes a child’s choices and body autonomy. Naturally, this can lead to some conflict, especially with family members who have a more traditional approach to raising children and might not view boundaries the same way that you do.
Brittany highlighted just how vital it is to stand your ground and not give in to other people’s opinions about how you should parent your child. Even if they’re family members whom you love and respect.
She also confronted her critics in a third video. You can watch it right here
The Australian mom also tackled her critics head-on, wondering whether they actually asked their child if hugs and kisses from their relatives is something that they want and need.
Brittany also drew attention to the fact that her own parents and her step-mom practice consent with their granddaughter 98 percent of the time and actually ask if she wants a hug, completely respecting her decision. It’s the other grandparents that Brittany has an issue with.
She also went on Australian TV and said that there’s been a mixed response to her videos. “A lot of people are very outraged which I understand, a lot of people have misunderstood the point of the message that I’m trying to get across. But a lot of people have been in support of it as well and that’s what has been amazing.”
The Australian mom started up a fiery discussion online with people both supporting her and criticizing her parenting method
Bored Panda’s recently written about another mother from Chicago who showed TikTok how she introduces lessons about consent into her toddlers’ daily lives. You can check out the post here. Meanwhile, however, we’d love to hear your thoughts about mom Brittany’s TikToks. Do you agree with her style of parenting? Do you think lessons about consent should start from birth or should parents wait until their kids grow up a bit more? Share your thoughts below.