Some people are world champions at putting their own feet in their mouths. They’ll do the whole gymnastic warm-up, begin running, jump, spin, twirl, pirouette, and successfully land, coming out with the worst possible take ever. If that wasn’t bad enough, they usually cap off the performance by doubling down on it, making it even better.
Today’s story is just like that. A mom met a new mom at her school who immediately proceeded to make rude, assumptive, and, cherry on top, classist remarks.
More info: Reddit
You've probably heard that you never get a second chance at a first impression; never has it been more true than today
Image credits: Educators .co.uk (not the actual photo)
The poster took it online to ask whether she's a jerk for cussing out a mom new to the neighborhood for calling her a "scrounger"
Image credits: Ok_Chemistry9174
Image credits: Marco Verch Professional Photographer (not the actual photo)
When she told the new acquaintance that she's a small business owner, she was called out as being "on benefits"
Image credits: Ok_Chemistry9174
After dropping the f-bomb and removing herself from the situation, she was conflicted that maybe she shouldn't have gone so far
In today’s story, the original poster (OP), a 30 y.o. mom, had gone to pick up her daughter instead of her husband, as he was down and out with a sinus infection.
While she was there, she encountered a mom whose child was new to the school, waiting to pick her kid up as well. As she was getting acquainted, one of the first of the new mom’s lines was “so you’re on benefits,” after learning that OP was a small business owner.
In reality, OP is much more successful than working her old corporate job, but that was no matter for the new mom as she just doubled down.
The immediate situation ended with OP dropping the f-bomb and telling the mom to mind her own business.
She’s been wondering whether she did the right thing by telling the mom off and took to the internet for advice.
As several commenters mentioned, the entire situation is a pretty good example of classism. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, Class Action defines it as the “differential treatment based on social class or perceived social class.” It’s when dominant class groups oppress subordinated groups to their own advantage.
Classism may be perpetuated from the individual level to even the systemic or cultural levels, with a good example being the wealthy paying lower income taxes than the middle class and its neighbors. According to a Guardian article, the wealthiest Americans pay just 3.4% of income taxes, with 25 Americans earning a total $401 billion, but paying only $13.6 billion.
Thus, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
But as we can see from the story, classism isn’t exclusive to bouts between the super rich and poor.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
We cannot know what the offending woman’s ultimate goal was. But classism can exhibit itself in many, many ways. And the perceived advantages to the abuser are also many, from being able to discredit people as “lower class” instead of trying to understand how their status could be improved to simply being able to feel better about themselves in an “us vs. them” kind of way.
A common sentiment you may hear, especially in democratic countries, is that everyone has free will and has the ability to “pull themselves up by the bootstraps,” which is simply untrue. Across history and even currently it has been documented that people are sorted into classes and discriminated against on the basis of their race, gender, ethnicity, health, and many more, in a sense, tearing apart the claim that we live in meritocracies.
According to Stanford University, even America, “home of the free”, initially started out as the British ruling class's way of ejecting the unwanted, idle, and poor. The narrative was idealized and romanticized only later, by the colonists themselves.
There are several things that you can do to tear down classism in your society, even if little by little. It starts daily, with appreciating the diversity and intersectionality of society and fighting for marginalized groups, educating yourself and others about their experiences.
You should be conscious and understand whether you police the language of others and strive to be more tolerant in your expression as well.
Finally, empower your own right to vote and vote for people who are not part of the 1%, people with plans to build up communities, rather than create more divide.
The original story collected nearly 12k upvotes and 1.6k comments, with the community judging that OP wasn’t a jerk. The comments were similarly horrified at how rude the mom’s comments were, all but forbidding OP from apologizing.
Share your thoughts and experiences below!
The community judged the poster not to be a jerkhole and told her how impossibly rude that new mom was
Image credits: Caleb Oquendo (not the actual photo)
