Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you're given a gift you really don't like? It doesn't fit your interests, your style, or lifestyle, but this person is confident that it does. So, you have to politely smile and accept it.
But why do situations like this keep happening to you, because this clueless person is your family member? That's the predicament today's OP found herself in. And the way she dealt with it, well, turned out to be a little controversial.
More info: mumsnet
It's always awkward to receive a gift that's completely not your vibe without being a jerk and pointing out what a miss it is
Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)
While many of us experience this from time to time, today's author does it occasionally
Image credits: macniak / Freepik (not the actual photo)
You see, her mom is terrible with giving gifts — she always gives something that she likes herself and not what fits the receiver
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
What makes everything worse is the mom's character — she's one of those people who likes to be controlling, but also acts like a victim at the same time
Image credits: azerbaijan_stockers / Freepik (not the actual photo)
So, even mentioning anything about her poor skills of gift giving is pretty difficult for her
Image credits: Rhinestonerhi
Yet, one day, the daughter's patience ran out and she called her mom out on it, which resulted in her storming off after calling daughter ungrateful
Throughout all of her 26 years of life, the OP’s mom has always been bad at giving her presents. It got to the point where the young woman wondered whether this woman even knew her at all.
As a matter of fact, she’s very open about her interests, hobbies, and sense of style, so it shouldn’t be that hard to get her something she likes. But no, instead, the mom gets something according to her own style. For instance, the mom likes everything with bright colors and extravagant patterns, while the daughter is more into low-key stuff.
But that's not all. You see, the OP has a relatively weird relationship with her mom. That entails that said mom can be rather controlling, but also act like a victim at the same time — a textbook manipulator.
Still, the daughter hopes to keep the peace with her, which isn’t working out that well. Here, one day, after receiving yet another bad gift, the young woman’s patience ran out, and she decided to call her mom out on it. This caused the mom to feel extremely upset, lash out by calling her daughter ungrateful, and leave ASAP.
Remember when we called her a textbook manipulator? Well, the latter action of hers just adds to this speculation of ours. The thing is, one of the most common things manipulators do is shift the blame for their actions onto others. Just like this mom — instead of admitting her fault for the poor gifts, she went straight to calling her daughter ungrateful, making it seem like she was the jerk in the situation.
Image credits: Rhinestonerhi / Mumsnet
And while yes, some might say that the OP kind of overstepped by calling out her mom’s gift giving, others would side with the young woman. Overall, the topic of improper gifts is quite a sensitive one, just as this story proves.
Basically, as we already acknowledged, some people believe that you should never point out to someone that they got you a gift you don’t like. As this Quora answer explains, “The only appropriate response to any gift is to say thank you.” In this author’s eyes, it doesn’t matter if you liked or needed the present; you have to show gratitude and swallow any negative feelings just to not be a brat.
At the same time, others argue that, in some cases, it’s acceptable to decline a gift or at least express some opinion about it. For example, when you’re given a piece of clothing that’s not your size. Or, you can accept it without saying anything, but don’t keep the present for yourself and re-gift it later — this way, you don’t insult anyone, but you also don’t have to be stuck with something you don’t want.
Essentially, as often is the case in life, it all depends on your situation. In the one from the story, calling out bad presents after years and years of them seemed like the most reasonable thing for the woman to do. Some netizens thought so too, recalling their own experiences.
So, that leaves us with the question: What do you think? We’re eager to hear your opinions in the comments!
When she posted about this whole situation online, netizens showed her empathy and started sharing their own similar experiences
