I had known this guy for the past 3 years and he's pretty much been my only friend since.
We wouldn't hang out much but we would text eachother regularly and play online games together. We'd make plans before doing anything, and agree on a time to make a discord call, then one of us would text the other when said time comes to let them know if we were available or not.
I really enjoyed doing that, and I assumed it was the same for him.
But for some time now, he's pretty much been ghosting me. I said in the title it had been weeks, but it's actually been like this for several months. He's not completely ghosting me, but I would never get any news from him.
To add more context I'll put an example of how our conversations would usually go:
It starts off like a regular text conversation like "hey how r u" etc... And then we would try to figure out what to do that day.
- "Wanna do something today?" (Me)
- "sure" (my friend)
-"what do you want to do?"
- "want to play X game?"
- "sure. What time?"
-" X time?"
- "alright. Let me know if u can log in!"
- "ok i'll send a msg :)"
- "okay"
X time comes, no message. 10 minutes later, still no message. 30 minutes, nothing. 2 hours, complete silence. The next day, still nothing. I waited around all day and nothing happened.
He's not even texting me the next morning to give an explanation. I have to be the one to start the conversation, or he never talks to me.
It might sound like I'm upset that he didn't keep his word and didn't spend time with me, but that's not true. I understand that sometimes you need to cancel your plans with someome because something unexpected came up, but you would normally tell the person?? He just disappears once he says that he will text back.
So most of the time I'm just waiting and waiting, fully knowing he won't show up, but still hoping he would at least say something.
Like I said previously, I have to be the one confronting him. I have to ask why he didn't say anything, or he just "forgets" about it.
His excuses mostly consist of "I forgot to send it", and "I was with my friends".
Again, I can understand, you forgot/you were busy, it happens. If it only happened once or twice, I wouldn't mind as much. But it's the same scenario every single time. Now, we never do anything together, and he won't even bother texting me to say "hey sorry but I won't make it today". Even if it's "too late"?
I don't want him to think I'm forcing him to do stuff, so I never said anything when he didn't show up. I just wish he would just say something, even if it's to tell me that he doesn't want to do anything with me today. I too don't want to do anything sometimes.
It's like he doesn't see me as a friend anymore. He spends a lot of time with his other friends, and I'm always left alone waiting for a dumb text that never gets sent.
I'm a very introverted person, but I was really trying to make an effort to come forward and talk to people. And now it feels like everything I did was in vain. Now I'm acting dramatic.
What the hell am I supposed to do in this situation? Am I selfish? I should probably try and talk to him, but I'm scared I'd make things worst and lose a friend in the process.. I really need help here.
Feel free to ask questions if you want more context.
Nobody is going to read this.. 🥲
#1
Oh this hits me so hard. I had a “friend” like yours (notice the quotation marks). I don’t even feel comfortable explaining going back to that time. Please, try to find the strength to move on from them. I know it’s hard, I know it. They’re growing away from you and trying to hangout with their other friends. There’s better things for you and better friends for you. Just be patient :), remember, the world is not a cold dark place..
2points
#2
I know what you're feeling right now. Hell, I'm also on the same boat, been friends since college and just fell out one moment, sometime still hanging out but it feels like they just hang out with me since I have car and I'm just a free Uber.
Some bridges needs to be burned but for now try to talk to your friend, know the reason. If the answer is no good and need someone to vent out the internet is pretty big and someone will listen.
Loneliness can be a pain, it's a void that's hard to fill sometimes. Bonds that was created longer is harder to let go but that is part of changing and growing. Hell, I've been trying to reconnect to some all in vain.
So whatever happens keep on pushing forward, if they're willing to break that friendship show them what they lost.
As what my dad told me in his words "It's the moment where your balls are getting twisted and pinched is where you will know who your real friends are. Either they share the pain with you or they watch and laugh or run away to save themselves."
1point
#3
oof this hits home. ill try my best but:
talk to him. but like make it sound serious like "ok *name* we really need to talk* and tell him how you feel about how hes been treating you. also let him know that he feel free to say whatever is on his mind
hope i helped
1point