Humans are social creatures. We have been living a communal life for centuries, evolving together, bonding together, and creating harmonious societies with friendly neighborhoods. But conflict is also another aspect of being human. And such conflicts often arise when living in any neighborhood—no matter how friendly!
That is exactly what happened with this Redditor. Living in a “come over, play whenever” neighborhood, the woman got annoyed when the neighborhood kids turned a newly built backyard playset for her son into a public play area. Frustrated with a continuously crowded backyard, she vented on Reddit.
More info: Reddit
When a couple built a new playset for their son in the backyard, little did they know that it would turn into a public attraction
Image credits: Anthony 🙂 (not the actual photo)
Neighborhood kids thronged to the woman’s private playset every day—even blocking her driveway with bikes—turning her backyard into their daily hangout spot
Image credits: u/ScarletPumpkinTickle
Faced with a screaming backyard every day until sundown, the woman wanted to build a fence, but her husband thought it would seem "unneighborly"
Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/ScarletPumpkinTickle
Although the neighborhood is very "come over, play whenever," the poster feels it's easy for the neighbors to say, as their playsets are not as big or attractive to mobs of kids
In today's story, Reddit user ScarletPumpkinTickle and her husband built a new playset for their 2-year-old son in the backyard. And as we all know, children often get attracted to new and big things. Thus, as if on cue, all the neighborhood kids fell in love with this new playset and started thronging there. So much so, that they have turned the woman’s backyard into their daily hangout spot.
This crowd of kids didn’t just take over her backyard, they also took over her peace. With them swarming her driveway with a dozen bikes or continuously screaming in the backyard, she can’t even enjoy hanging out in her own backyard just because of the kids. She even mentions, “I wouldn’t even mind if it was a once-in-a-while thing.”
But the kids have been hanging out in her backyard every single day until sundown. Frustrated with the constant screaming (like anyone would be), she wanted to build a fence around her backyard. But her husband thought that it would look “unneighborly”. A major reason was that many neighborhood parents had joyfully told them about how their kids really liked the couple’s playset.
It’s not easy to say no to kids or establish a boundary with them, while also maintaining a healthy relationship with the neighbors. It appears that it would be best for the woman to set a healthy boundary as it might be beneficial for her and her family.
Image credits: Norma Mortenson (not the actual photo)
To get expert advice, Bored Panda interviewed Trupti Bobade, a psychologist at The Secret Ingredient. She stressed the importance of setting boundaries, even if it’s with neighborhood kids. She said, “Boundaries are essential for maintaining your well-being. They help you define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others, ensuring your relationships, with yourself and others, are healthy and balanced.”
Caught in a fix, the woman took to Reddit to express her frustration. She also added how the other neighbors have a “come over, play whenever” policy. But these neighbors have comparatively smaller playsets. So, they’ve never really experienced the ruckus it creates when a big gang of kids constantly hangs out at their place.
The kids have been hanging out at her house even in her absence. She clarified how her 2-year-old son doesn’t go out unsupervised. And she and her husband wouldn’t feel comfortable if their son played in someone’s playset when the owners weren’t present. But the neighborhood kids (and from the looks of it, even their parents) don’t feel the same way.
As the kids are used to the neighborhood policy of coming and playing whenever they want, they didn’t think it would be annoying if they did the same in the woman’s backyard. But, if the woman establishes boundaries with them, firmly yet kindly, they might realize that it’s not okay to constantly create a ruckus in someone else’s backyard.
Trupti beautifully narrates the role of boundaries, saying, “Imagine your life as a house. Boundaries are like doors and windows. They let in the light and fresh air but they also keep out anything unwanted. Without boundaries, your house becomes vulnerable to intruders and chaos. Setting boundaries is like choosing which doors and windows to open, ensuring entrance to things that are really wanted.”
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
We reached out to another psychologist, Divya Ahire, who works for a mental health helpline, Muktaa Charitable Foundation. She mentioned that if boundaries are not set in such a situation, it can negatively impact the woman and her family as well as the neighborhood kids. She says, “Think of boundaries as guidelines that help us take care of ourselves and our relationships. They also help us protect our time, energy, and feelings. Without boundaries, we might feel overwhelmed or taken advantage of.”
She even narrates that the absence of boundaries will be tough for the woman’s kid and even the other kids. According to Divya, “Boundaries help kids understand what’s okay and what’s not. Without them, kids might have trouble knowing how to behave or respect others' limits. Boundaries help kids learn responsibility and respect, which are important for their overall development.”
Both psychologists agreed that the woman should take a stand for her and her family’s well-being and set up healthy boundaries, using a firm yet kind approach. They mentioned that the woman could go and talk to their neighbors in a warm and respectful tone while suggesting specific alternatives for the kids’ playtime. Or she could directly speak with the kids in a friendly manner and ask them to set a particular time when they could come and play.
Fellow netizens also asked the woman to establish boundaries, build a fence, or set up a time limit for the kids to play. But before we jump to what the netizens had to say, we would love to hear from you. What do you think about this situation? How would you handle it? Let us know in the comments!
Fellow Redditors asked the woman to establish boundaries, set up a fence, or get the parents to sign waivers
