RelationshipsSEP 5, 2024

“Should Have Just Let Sleeping Dogs Lie”: Person Makes Neighbor Regret Their Threats

Mindaugas Balčiauskas and Rokas Laurinavičius

When you're new to the neighborhood, being nice and trying to get along with others can significantly ease the transition and help you settle in.

However, Reddit user Kingofzdom has just learned that not everyone shares that sentiment. When a man from another state moved next door, he quickly expressed his displeasure over what he perceived as an encroachment on his property—a vehicle parked near the boundary was enough to set him off.

However, as the Redditor explained in his post on r/pettyrevenge, the situation changed when the authorities were called in.

It's best to approach neighborly disputes with open communication, a willingness to listen

Image credits: Image-Source / Envato (not the actual photo)

But this man moved in and immediately started pointing fingers

Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: kingofzdom

Fighting over property boundaries is one of the top reasons for neighborly disputes

We got in touch with Kingofzdom and he said the small, rural neighborhood is located in the mountains of Arizona. "All the houses are 3-5 acre horse properties, and the roads are all dirt and unmaintained," the Redditor told Bored Panda. "It used to be a very understandable place to live, but in the last few years it has been developed and property values have been going up, quadrupling since we moved here in 2016. This has attracted a crowd of people who do care what the yards look like and who simply weren't here when it was cheap."

As mentioned in the post, this particular neighbor is one of these new people.

"We moved here specifically because the neighborhood already had a bunch of messy yards and we wanted to have lenient neighbors. We lived in harmony with our neighbors' junky yards for years," Kingofzdom added.

But this guy was all trouble right from the get-go. "The neighbor introduced himself by calling the county on a bunch of us anonymously. We knew he called on us because he was bragging about [it] on several other of the neighbors for their messy yard so whether he intentionally included us in the report or not, he brought the inspectors to the neighborhood."

The Redditor said, "he came on our property by at least 40' (before there was a fence) to closely examine our piles of scrap metal. We caught this on camera and confronted him in text. It turned out he was very angry that he had purchased land next to a pseudo-scrap yard. We had several cars in various stages of disassembly and piles of materials. Keep in mind, this is the country. This is normal out here; we're on five-acre lots."

Another important fact is that the guy doesn't even live on his land. "He bought a lot with a very small cabin 3 houses down along with the lot next to us with the intention of turning it into an income property."

Settling issues with him in a civil way was pretty much impossible. After we confronted him in text, he confronted us in person in our front yard, leaning against our 'No Trespassing' sign and screaming obscenities at us," the Redditor recalled.

Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)

Such conflicts are pretty common. According to a 2019 survey by FindLaw, 42% of Americans say they've been involved in a dispute with their neighbors, and the top reasons for them are:

Noise (48% of all disputes). Whether it be from raucous late-night parties or maybe different sleep schedules that result in one neighbor waking up the other, noise is apparently the No. 1 way to annoy your neighbor.
Pets and animals (29%). Pets and animals can be tricky to deal with directly, since it is the animal that is causing the problem and not the owner. But many times the issue stems from the owner's failure to properly handle or train his animal.
Children's behavior (21%). Much like pets, children running onto your property, being loud, or defacing your property can often be the result of their parents -- i.e., your adult neighbors -- not properly looking after them. State laws may even hold the kids' parents liable for damages.
A visual nuisance, the property's appearance, trash, etc. (18%). Many eyesores, such as unkempt lawns, offensive signs, or overflowing trash cans can lead to ill will between neighbors.
Property boundaries (17%). In these types of disputes, neighbors often have misconceptions about where their property begins and ends.

Scott Wilson, a clinical psychologist and adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Teachers College Columbia University, says when you end up with a mix of people with unrelated lives right next to each other, the chance of conflict is pretty high.

But when you do end up having a spat with the guy or gal next door, it's in your best interest to resolve it as quickly as possible. To do so, Wilson generally suggests these tactics:

Avoidance. Sometimes both parties need time and space to cool down.
Accommodation. Are you fighting because you really feel wronged? Or are you being stubborn? Sometimes being the bigger person and giving in is really winning.
Competition. Standing your ground? Respect your neighbor’s right to stand theirs, too.
Compromise. Sometimes, both parties need to make a sacrifice in the name of peace, quiet, and the greater good.
Cooperation. An opportunity to work with your neighbor toward a mutually beneficial solution.

Of these strategies, cooperation is a good end goal to have, but it strongly depends on the situation, or how we prioritize our needs in relation to the other person's needs, says Wilson.

And generally, people are pretty good at it. The aforementioned study also discovered that half (49%) of people choose a direct approach to settle neighborly disputes and have discussed the issue with them. As long as the issue is handled with caution and not delivered in a way that is combative or accusatory, people who live near each other are fairly understanding.

Then again, more than 1 in 4 (27%) say they've called the police, which can sometimes be inefficient, especially if no crime is involved. Another 15% have complained to their homeowners' association or other neighborhood group.

Yet another way to resolve neighbor disputes is by sending a letter, note, or email, which 11% of survey respondents have tried.

The Redditor did have to call in the professionals, but it has bought more than one stress-free night, as noted by Point To Point Land Surveyors, a company that services a number of states in the southeast and mid-Atlantic regions, knowing where your property boundaries are will reduce the potential for future conflicts.

So far, however, it's nothing but radio silence. "We haven't seen him since we saw him on our security camera observing the survey markers," Kingofzdom said. "It's entirely possible that we entirely chased him out of the neighborhood."

"The people on the other side of his lot, who have an equally trashed yard from their small-scale pig farming operation that he should have known existed before buying the land, had such a bad experience with him that she had a restraining order on him," the Redditor added. "They are also having a potentially equally funny dispute about a shed that she built fully on his lot over 15 years ago which means they're going to have to go to court over who now owns it and our adverse possession laws are certainly on her side."

"Currently, we are building an ugly fence on the newly surveyed property line."

If the neighbor chooses to ignore it, a land survey conducted by a verified professional is critical evidence of the legal boundary. If he questions the boundary for whatever reason, it will be a priceless bargaining or mediation tool to, once and for all, resolve the conflict.