Many parents rely on other family members for childcare, so the saying that it takes a village to raise a child is really true. According to a 2024 survey, 24% of parents say their siblings are included in the "village," as they occasionally help out with babysitting, events, and emergencies.
When this aunt agreed to babysit her unruly 11-year-old nephew, she didn't know he would send her boyfriend's PlayStation down the stairs. That wouldn't have been the end of the world, but when the mom refused to replace the console and blamed her sister for not looking after her kid, the aunt had had enough.
An 11-year-old nephew smashed his aunt's PlayStation while she was babysitting him
Image credits: dimaberlin-1 (not the actual image)
She asked her sister to replace the gaming console, but the sister refused, saying it was her own fault she didn't watch him
Image credits: Anthony (not the actual image)
Image credits: dikushin (not the actual image)
Image credits: throwaway489043
Why it's so hard for some parents to say "no" to their kids
Establishing and enforcing boundaries is one of the hardest things that parents need to do if they want their children to succeed in life. While it may sound easy in theory, in practice, many parents struggle with telling their kids "no."
According to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, 35% of American parents admit they sometimes give in too quickly instead of sticking to hard discipline. Interestingly, mothers are more likely to do this (40%), while only 27% of dads say they are too lax about rules and consequences.
Many parents might believe that hearing "no" stifles a child's independence and agency. The mom in this story, for example, tries to "teach him words that aren't 'no.'" Yet, experts say that saying "no" to your kids is actually showing them love.
According to Becky Kennedy, a child psychologist trained at Columbia University, saying "yes" to kids too often does them a disservice in the long run. "Yes, it's important to help my kids feel like their wants and needs are valued, and that is actually independent from saying 'yes' or 'no' in any given situation," Kennedy said. "In fact, I would argue, it almost becomes dangerous for our kids to conflate being valued with getting what they want."
Hearing the word "no" actually helps kids grow up to be more successful and happy as adults. Being told "no" helps kids learn patience and how to cope with disappointment. According to a 2013 study, kids who don't learn these traits have difficulty navigating the real world when they grow up.
Parents need to follow up "no" with real and meaningful consequences
Only telling a child "no" is not enough to discipline them. In fact, a "no" without consequences can do more damage than good. Experts say that children test boundaries because they need to feel secure, and too much freedom makes them feel insecure, not independent.
If kids know there will be no real consequences if they disobey a "no," it will not be effective. As parent educator Genevieve Muir writes, parents need to learn to sit with the uncomfortable feeling after giving discipline. "We may feel really uncomfortable and try to distract our child or make them laugh. It's important to stay with the boundary setting and out of distractions."
Granted, "no" shouldn't become a buzzword in a parent's vocabulary. If overused, it diminishes a child's motivation and curiosity. Those are important to young kids, as they are only discovering the world and what it has to offer.
As child psychologist Laura Markham puts it, kids don't learn to think outside the box if they hear "no" constantly. "The child shuts down," she explains. "They feel their initiatives are shut down."
Still, a parent needs to be a confident and calm leader, even if they feel like a bad guy. "If we conflate feeling wanted and valued with getting what we want, we actually set our kid up to be fairly entitled in the world," according to Becky Kennedy. "And that's not what we want."
"Kid's a brat," the aunt wrote, detailing how this wasn't the first time something like this happened
People unanimously agreed that the sister should replace the PlayStation
