“A Hidden Camera”: 30 Times People Did Such Awful Things That They Didn’t Deserve Forgiveness

We hold grudges when someone has wronged or hurt us. It’s a reaction to injustice. Grudges can run especially deep if other people don’t seem to care about the consequences of their actions and don’t bother to apologize.

However, some folks are more likely than others to blame others and feel bitter, angry, and resentful for what has happened to them. Verywell Mind explains that people tend to be more likely to hold grudges if they have low self-esteem, poor coping skills, or a short temper. Others more likely to hold them are those individuals who end up being embarrassed.

To put it bluntly, holding on to grudges is very harmful to your physical and mental health, as well as your social life. While forgiving the people who hurt you might seem like ‘giving up,’ moving on and healing from their actions is in your best interest. If the perpetrators of your hurt continue to live ‘rent-free’ in your mind, they’re chronically poisoning you, forcing you to be chronically stressed. The best revenge is a life well-lived. But it can take the help of a professional therapist to recover from what happened to you.

If you constantly relive traumatic events and you’re surrounded by negative emotions, you’re exhausting yourself. Continuously ruminating on unpleasant past events can lead to anxiety, depression, aggressive behavior, and mood disorders. Some other negative side effects include thoughts of self-harm and emotional dysregulation.

On a physical level, holding grudges and the chronic stress it brings can mess up your cardiovascular health and digestion. Furthermore, it can have a negative impact on your sleep, as well as your immune and reproductive systems.

Someone who is constantly reliving hurtful events and lives with anger every day can end up suffering from memory problems, worse cognition, and poorer decision-making skills. They might also deal with insomnia, headaches, upset stomachs, and asthma due to all of that stress.

Meanwhile, on a social level, holding on to long-term grudges can break apart your (positive) relationships with your family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. To put it simply, if the people in your social circle perceive you as someone who holds grudges, they might be less willing to spend time with you.

On top of that, few people enjoy being around someone who is constantly venting and grumbling about how unfair life is. Relationships are a two-way street. There needs to be a give-and-take dynamic. Your friends should not feel like they’re unpaid therapists for your issues, no matter how tough they might be. They’re there to support you and give advice when needed, sure, but they’re not responsible for your overall mental and emotional health. We all have to take responsibility for those things ourselves.

Do you hold on to grudges or do you try to forgive, forget, and move on with your lives, dear Pandas? Has anyone done anything to you that you never forgave them for? What have you personally done to heal from hurtful experiences? If you’re feeling up for it, share your thoughts in the comments.