Under normal circumstances, when two people enter a bus together and they see that only one seat is available, they just both stand. They might both stand even if they are both tired or they might switch halfway through their ride just to be fair and respectful.
But not this man, who sat down, leaving his girlfriend standing in heels, and refused to let her sit at all even after she asked because her feet were tired. The woman brought it up again when they were home, so the man wanted redditors to weigh in.
More info: Reddit
When you're standing in a bus in heels and someone gives their seat to you, they're a saint, but this man thought he deserved to sit more than his girlfriend
Image credits: Juan Vargas (not the actual photo)
They had been walking for about an hour and the man was pretty out of breath, so he took the only seat on the bus, leaving his girlfriend standing
Image credits: Daniel Lobo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: кофе (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aitabus
He didn't think that her wearing stilettos changed anything as he was tired, but was called inconsiderate
The couple was attending a special event and were dressed up for it, but after it, they decided to do a few errands and because they don’t have a car, they had to walk. Walking in stilettos on cobblestones wasn’t very comfortable for the girlfriend but she went with her boyfriend voluntarily.
When it came time to go back home on a bus, there was only one seat available and the boyfriend took it because he is overweight and not fit because of some issues he was dealing with, so he was a bit out of breath as the city where they were walking was hilly.
The girlfriend asked if she could take the seat because her feet were tired, but the boyfriend assumed that she must be used to it because she always wears heels and is a model, so she knows how to walk in them and wasn’t as tired as him because she exercises regularly, while he was sitting there breathless.
The conversation ended here, but the woman brought it up again privately at home, explaining that the shoes she was wearing were not as comfortable as the ones she wears every day.
In the responses to the comments we learn that the couple talked about the situation further and the boyfriend apologized and the girlfriend didn’t push the matter further, saying that it was her choice to wear stilettos and then join him for his errands.
She also admitted that she wasn’t tired in general, her shoes didn’t give her blisters and that she was fine standing, she just had tired ankles. Although the woman would have appreciated it if the boyfriend gave her the seat halfway or after he caught his breath.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)
The boyfriend decided that he was more tired than his girlfriend because he thought that she is used to wearing heels all the time and she wasn’t out of breath like he was because she goes to the gym.
At the same time, readers decided that the girlfriend deserved the seat more because stilettos are painful to walk in and while you can catch your breath standing, the pressure from the feet doesn’t come off while standing. But the woman claimed her feet were fine, but ankles were tired.
Comparing pain and emotions and trying to figure out which person has it worse is natural, but psychologists don’t always recommend doing that.
Although sometimes they can be helpful as “They can serve as a way to gauge our progress or determine what might be appropriate in a certain situation.” In other cases, “comparisons can stifle growth, prevent self-compassion, and even make it more difficult to empathize with other people.”
While a lot of the time, comparing your feelings to others leads to people minimizing your own, thinking that you don’t have it that bad because there are surely people who are less fortunate than you, not all people are so compassionate and will invalidate others’ emotions.
Psych Central says that the reason behind it is that those people are “unable to process that person’s emotions. They might be preoccupied with their own problems or not know how to respond in the moment.”
It could be that this was exactly what happened to the author of the story as he was so preoccupied with being out of breath and walking up and down hills, he didn’t think that his fit girlfriend could experience tiredness as well.
So what would be a fair solution to a situation like this when you don’t want to invalidate someone’s experience? As the girlfriend suggested and many people in the comments, they could have switched places after a while.
Do you disagree? Do you think either of them were more deserving of the seat on the bus? Do you think this one small episode should raise questions about the whole relationship? Let us know in the comments.
Redditors called him more than inconsiderate and actually a jerk as he could have caught his breath standing
