Parents are expected to support their kids' decisions no matter what. Even if the kid makes some questionable decisions in life.
A woman and her husband recently found themselves in a situation where they got into a fight with their daughter because they weren’t happy with her poorly timed pregnancy.
More info: Reddit
Should parents support their children when they make a poor decision and demand parents' utter support?
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
Couple’s daughter got pregnant a second time with poor timing and the couple are not thrilled about having to essentially raise their daughter’s child again
Image credits: u/Personal_Region2508
The daughter called her parents the jerks after they voiced their unhappiness with her pregnancy
Image credits: Garon Piceli (not the actual photo)
The woman recently turned to the r/AITA community to ask if she and her husband were the jerks in this conflict with their daughter. She is a recent graduate, who just got a lousy job and got pregnant for the second time. The first time was in her second year of college, which obviously was not the right time. At that time, the parents stepped in to help her to finish her studies. Now, though the timing is still not right for another pregnancy, she got pregnant. Again.
When the daughter told her parents that she was pregnant, they were not excited. That prompted the OP saying “not again” after she was told the news. And when the daughter asked if the parents were happy for her, the mother exclaimed no, since she knew that she and her husband would essentially have to raise their second grandchild.
This caused a fight between the parents and the daughter, with her saying that the parents are the jerks.
Image credits: Tim Douglas (not the actual photo)
Numerous people online decided that the parents were not as wrong in this situation as their daughter made them out to be. Quite a lot of them stated that having your parents to help raise your children is a privilege, which the daughter has exploited.
A lot of Redditors wondered where the babies’ father(s) is in all of this mess and why the daughter doesn't ask for his help with the finances and childcare, since, after all, it’s his children too. Also, they made a point that maybe the daughter needs to learn how to use birth control or at least learn not to have children while she’s not financially stable.
Image credits: Scott Webb (not the actual photo)
There are various reasons why sometimes parents cannot take proper care of their children - from substance abuse, to financial reasons, incarceration or even death. So, occasionally, some relatives, such as grandparents, aunts/uncles and so on, step in to take care of the children, a phenomenon that is called kinship care.
Grandparents taking care of their grandchildren does not come without challenges. Grandparents could experience some legal or financial troubles, for example, getting custody of the children, or supporting them financially. Social challenges are possible too - from finding an effective parenting style, dealing with the fact that they have less time for themselves or even protecting the grandchildren from their parents. Grandchildren who are raised in the care of grandparents can experience difficulties with development, behavior, mental health, school and so forth.
Needless to say, there are some benefits to this style of caregiving, too, like grandchildren feeling safe with their caregivers, the continuation of their cultural identity and relationships with extended family. The grandparents can enjoy being parents for a second time, having a close relationship with their grandchildren and feeling satisfaction from giving them a better chance at life.
And while the grandparents in the Reddit story were not being asked to provide full kinship care, they were still asked to majorly contribute to their grandchildren's childcare, which, as it can be understood from the sources discussed, is quite a big responsibility to take on, which justifies their unhappiness with their daughter’s poorly timed pregnancy.
The netizens decided that the daughter's irresponsibility was not her parents' responsibility
