While your mileage might vary, the idea of having your own personal corner at home is good no matter how you spin it. Even if you don’t need it, you can’t deny that it would bring you joy to know that this is for you and only you.
But what do you do when that space is threatened or, unfortunately, becomes compromised? A woman recently brought this issue to the Reddit table, asking if she’s wrong to not want her husband’s Peloton bike all up in her yoga space.
It’s only normal to respect your partner’s space if they have a tiny corner at home for themselves, right?
Image credits: Soroush Karimi (not the actual photo)
Well, sometimes, that’s not the case as it can be invaded by a clunky Peloton bike and then it’s a matter of principle
Image credits: SailCivil2571
Image credits: RLTheis (not the actual photo)
Originally, the issue was left at that—the space was threatened and tension was rising
The story goes that Redditor u/SailCivil2571 has a house with spaces that are very clearly defined. A part of this definition is also the agreement that hubby has his man cave (of sorts) and that OP has her tiny yoga and Pilates studio going on in the sunroom.
Well, the husband has a Peloton bike that was traveling the world until now and it's on its way to the sunroom to invade OP’s personal space. This caused a bit of an argument between the two and thus found its way onto Reddit for some debate.
OP also provided an update some time later about how it all played out and tl;dr, the bike still ended up in the sunroom—not entirely where it was conceptualized, but still annoying, and there are secret plans of moving it somewhere. Honestly, it’s best to read OP’s exact words as nobody could’ve said it better than her.
Across the board, folks thought OP was not a jerk in this situation, with some prompting for no jerks in this predicament. The spaces were agreed upon, so respect is due. Though, it is understandable why the sunroom would be a good fit for the bike, and maybe a conversation can happen instead. Maybe do something to swap for the man cave, as some comments suggested.
Image credits: L B (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the post, who gave some context on the story
Originally, OP posted the story on Reddit to get some objective perspective on the matter. But then the Peloton bike arrived. "When I saw it in the sunroom, one of my initial thoughts were 'oh, Reddit is gonna love this' and then I received private messages about it so I posted the update."
"I think [my husband] just doesn’t understand. I tried explaining it to him. Not that he doesn’t understand how personal space works, but his thought really is that the workout equipment should be together," elaborated OP.
"But living with my husband, I have grown to understand that the male and female brain really work differently. Him too. I’ll catch him staring at me while I’m working on something and he says something like 'don’t mind me, I’m just watching your brain at work.'"
"That and he also thinks I’m funny when I’m annoyed (exhibit a. my update) so this could just be for his own amusement. Neither of us are serious people."
What is serious, though, is OP's intention to move the bike this coming weekend as he's going to be out of the house. "I have to move some furniture out of the way first but I’m confident I can do it, there are wheels on the bike."
"Overall, in our house, this is a more lighthearted problem and banter between spouses. But I can 100% see how people find this to be a bigger debate," concluded OP. "Other than that, I’m grateful that there is a little Reddit army out there ready to come help me move my furniture and turn his man cave into a craft room."
The upside of private spaces at home can’t be overstated, especially if that means that violating it can mean a complete shutdown
You’d be surprised how exact personal and private spaces can get. Anthropologist Edward T. Hall elaborated that people have varying degrees of personal space that they deem acceptable, and that can range from 18 inches from your body being intimate to 4 feet from you being a social distance. And if person X doesn’t fit zone Y, the person might just shut down. And that’s not good.
But that’s personal space. What about private space—space at home? More of the same, really. Lack of private space can create stress, which can ultimately lead to it becoming chronic and this calls out anything from depression to heart disease. In other words, lack of such a space creates discomfort and doesn’t fill the natural need for solitude.
And while expectations might vary, creating a personal space can be as easy and simple as just claiming the laundry room, the basement, or, say, the garden. As long as it’s a place you feel comfortable in, that will work. Draw literal borders using curtains, screens or plants, decorate it in the style of you and you’ve essentially created a place for yourself. Enjoy!
Ideally, those living with you will know that this is your space and that they should respect it. And if they don’t, tell them. Or warn them.
Whatever the case, we’d love to hear from you in—hopefully—the safe space that is the comment section below! But if that’s not the case for you, then your journey doesn’t have to end.
Image credits: Toa Heftiba (not the actual photo)
Across the board, folks thought the woman is not a jerk for protecting her private space
There was an update to the original story, essentially saying that the Peloton did invade her space, but likely not for long
Image credits: SailCivil2571
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