"I Have A Very Big Problem With This": New Mom Starts A Discussion After Sharing That Her MIL Wants To Get A Tattoo Of Grandkid's Footprint

Tattoos can be a wonderful way to commemorate an important event or show a loved one how much you care about them. However, before you get someone’s name or footprint inked on your body, it’s probably a good idea to run this by them… or their parents.

A mom, who recently gave birth to her first child, turned to the r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit for advice on how to deal with her mother-in-law. You see, they’re not at all close, but the MIL has plans to get the baby’s footprint tattooed on her. And the mom was unsure if she was overreacting to this. Read on for the full story, as well as to see what tips internet users gave the OP.

The r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit, where the mom shared her story, is an online community that’s a safe space for people to vent about their mother-in-laws “who are the worst.” Members try to support each other and give useful advice. The group has been helping everyone deal with “nasty, cruel, toxic” MILs all the way since 2015.

According to the OP, this was her very first time posting there. Everyone was very friendly and helpful, helping the mom see all of the angles. Broadly speaking, they urged her to set some clear boundaries with her mother-in-law, instead of avoiding the issue altogether. And even though some redditors were unsure about what was “so intimate” about a footprint, many of them believed that it was up to her to decide whether someone else should or shouldn’t get a tattoo like that. Others, however, thought the mom may have been acting a tad too sensitive in this particular case.

The author of the post mentioned that she and her mother-in-law aren’t close. And that’s not very surprising: many people have tense relationships with their in-laws. A recent study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal found that people, regardless of gender, argue more with their MILs than with their own mothers.

According to ‘Choosing Therapy,’ some reasons why a MIL might be overbearing include having a controlling nature, being narcissistic, or having an authoritative or authoritarian parenting style. As such, some mothers-in-law are bound to have sky-high expectations for others and might dole out more criticism than praise. Or, in other words, no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever be good enough for them.

Some red flags that you might be dealing with an incredibly overbearing MIL include a total disrespect of your boundaries. She might show up at your place unannounced and start doing things ‘her way’ to show her dominance. Moreover, she will also most likely ignore your subtle hints that you want her to leave.

Meanwhile, overbearing mothers-in-law will also be incredibly judgmental, insist that they’re always right, and will find ways—either subtle or overt—to pressure you into doing what they want. Their excuse for overstepping any and all boundaries might be that they care about the family. However, they might simply want to be at the center of attention and get praise for all of their ‘help.’ Alternatively, they might not be aware that they're being domineering or that they’re doing something wrong.

Marriage.com suggests taking things in stride and having an open conversation with your MIL if she doesn’t seem to be taking any of your hints about boundaries. You need to lay out the ground rules without attacking your MIL, and you both have to come to some sort of compromise, so you can coexist moving forward.