To plus-one or not to plus-one? Here’s a question that probably every couple asks themselves when curating their wedding guest list. On one hand, allowing guests to bring a person with them can make them more comfortable and at ease. On the other hand, such an option isn’t always possible, whether that’s due to budget limitations, not being familiar with the individual, or preventing clashing between invitees.
When this guy, whose backyard was used for a friend’s wedding, was denied a plus-one because of his ex, he wasn’t going to let it go easily. Once talking some sense into the couple failed, he then took some extreme measures, which risked the whole celebration.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with Irene Katzias, wedding planner and founder of Irene + Co Events, who kindly agreed to tell us more about plus-ones at weddings.
To plus-one or not to plus-one is completely up to the couple that is planning their wedding
Image credits: PerfectWave003/Envato (not the actual photo)
However, when this guy, whose backyard was used for a friend’s wedding, was denied a plus-one, he became quite disappointed
Image credits: benzoix/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Long_Assistant8873
How to solve the plus-one dilemma depends on a couple
Image credits: Leonardo Miranda/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Every couple wants their guests to have the best time ever during their celebration. But does this mean that everyone should get a plus-one at a wedding? "Not necessarily," says Irene Katzias, wedding planner and founder of Irene + Co Events.
"Your guest list should be intentional, not a free-for-all. If you are working within a set budget or a specific vision for your day, plus-ones should be considered, not assumed. Prioritize your inner circle, then extend plus-one invitations where it makes sense. Your wedding is not a networking event. It is a curated day created just for you," she explained.
The people who usually receive a plus-one invitation are the wedding party, close friends and family, married guests, and those who traveled from far away or don’t know anyone besides the couple at the event.
However, invitees who are casually dating, work together with the bride or groom, or aren’t close friends or family members (who know people besides the couple at the function) don’t typically get the privilege of bringing an extra person to the celebration.
"If they are not in a serious, committed relationship, if your venue has strict capacity limits, or if your budget says absolutely not, then it is completely fine to keep your guest list tight," agrees Katzias. "A good rule of thumb is if you would not recognize their plus-one in a lineup, you do not have to invite them. Your wedding day is about celebrating your love story, not accommodating every acquaintance's date-night request."
To prevent unpleasantries, couples should explain their plus-one policies on the invitations
Image credits: Ricardo Moura/Envato (not the actual photo)
While the decision on who to bless with a plus-one and who not is the couple's to make based on their best interest, some people, just like the author of the story, might not be happy to receive an invitation for one.
To prevent any unpleasantries related to this, couples should explain their plus-one policies on the invitations, said wedding planner, stylist, and consultant Cait Noonan from Celebrait Wedding Co. in a previous Bored Panda interview.
“A short and sweet message to say, ‘The capacity of our venue is limited and hence we kindly request that only those invited attend our wedding. Please check your invitation for details around plus-ones,’ and then only write “and guest” on the envelopes and invitations of those guests to whom you are offering a plus-one to,” she explained.
If a guest still asks to bring an extra person, Katzias recommends being direct, kind, and firm. "Try something like, 'We are keeping our wedding intimate and unfortunately are not able to extend plus-ones to everyone. We would still love for you to be there and celebrate with us.' If they care about you, they will respect your decision. Your wedding is not a group outing."
In case the guest takes even more extreme measures and refuses to attend the event, Katzias advises not giving much thought to it. "If they bail over a plus-one, that is on them. You are not holding anyone hostage. If someone shows up on the wedding day with an uninvited guest, that is a different level of bold. Your coordinator or venue team can discreetly handle it, whether that means letting them know there is no available seating or offering an unsubtle redirect to the nearest exit. Boundaries exist for a reason," she concluded.
Some readers disagreed with the couple, saying the man should do whatever he wants on his land
While others thought the original poster was in the wrong here
