“Mo Money, Mo Problems,” rapped the Notorious B.I.G. once upon a time, and his words still ring true decades later. One recent survey found that a quarter of all couples consider money to be their biggest relationship issue, while another revealed that a third of Gen Z and millennials polled had broken up over finances.
When one guy lost his job just three months into a new relationship, he was lucky enough to have his girlfriend support him for the next year and a half. She stood by his side and helped him dig his way back up. Now that the guy's finally found a job, he suspects his girlfriend is only after his money. And when she recently asked him if she could borrow a few bucks for a hair appointment, he refused. After some introspection and a massive fight, he's wondering if he was maybe a little too selfish.
It's not unusual for couples to argue about money, especially during a period of financial hardship
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One couple stuck it out when the boyfriend lost his job, but the trouble really began once he was back on his feet
Image credits: Jayson Hinrichsen/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
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Survey finds that "Millennials fight with their partners about money more than anything else"
When more than 1,000 people took part in a survey, around a third of Gen Z and millennial respondents revealed they had previously ended a relationship over finances, while a third of those polled said they would break up with their partner if they did not share the same money values as them.
The study found that the biggest red flag for the Gen Z generation is when someone is unwilling to split expenses and expects them to pay for everything. But for millennials, it's reckless spending. Other "icks" include hiding accounts, having a lot of debt, being financially dependent on family or friends, and being “controlling” when it comes to finances.
"Money can represent both power and security in relationships, making it a challenging, but necessary, issue for couples to navigate. Financial boundaries should be respected in relationships, and continually overstepping this line is the sign of an issue," cautioned relationship psychologist and dating expert Zoe Coetzee.
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Most young couples admitted to not talking about finances until they reached a major milestone in their relationship, like moving in together or getting engaged or married. “This lack of communication has led many to reconsider their relationships and, in some cases, end them altogether,” noted Credit Karma, when releasing the results of the poll.
While they're reluctant to have finance discussions early on, many young people did admit to researching a new partner's job to gauge how much money they make. 35% of Gen Z and 25% of millennials said they do this before getting deeply involved.
Experts advise couples to talk about finances openly and honestly, as early as possible. “Betrayal from financial mismanagement can be traumatizing and have a similar effect on a relationship as infidelity,” warned relationship specialist Jen Elmquist. "Recovering often requires the support of a couples therapist and a financial planner to make sure that, going forward, there is some accountability."
Finances came out as a major bone of contention for Gen Z and millennial couples. More than half of them said they fight about money in their romantic relationships. And over 40% argue about cash on a monthly basis. According to the survey, for millennial couples, money is the biggest source of arguments in their relationships, above not being present, being on a smartphone, spending time together, chores and intimacy.
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