Curiosities,Occasions,Wedding,RelationshipsAPR 6, 2023

“AITA For Not Reinviting My Sister And Her Family To My Wedding After We Changed It?”

Organizing weddings is a hard job. Hard not only because it takes a lot of time and there are a million options to choose from, but also because it is very "painful" financially. Saving enough money for the wedding may take several years unless you are having a garden wedding with your family. However, generally speaking, most couples want to have all of their closest friends and family on their special day.

But if the couple had planned to have a big wedding but found out that only a small number of guests could attend, why not make a few adjustments and take a short vacation somewhere luxurious?

More info: Reddit

Consider sending out wedding invitations, waiting for responses, then changing the event to a trip just to see how many people are suddenly available

Image credits: Dimitri Kuliuk (not the actual image)

A Redditor asked for advice on a position she was in: was she wrong to not reinvite her sister when the wedding plans changed to a trip to Hawaii?

Image credits: u/One_Ambassador_2316

The author believes that there is sufficient evidence to support her position, but the sister feels that she is being unfair

The original poster (OP) starts the story by introducing her and her fiancé's plans for a large wedding in July. However, since they already had some money set aside, they decided to indulge after only 14 responses indicating that guests were available to come. Once the OP decided to switch the wedding to a Hawaii trip and pay for all of the guests' expenditures, they double-checked with the guests to see if they could take a few extra days off, and planning soon began.

As soon as the plans changed, the antagonist of the story—the author's sister—who had RSVP'd that she and her family were not coming—became upset that she had not received a “reinvitation”. According to her, it is basically a different trip and they were supposed to be informed about this and invited once again.

The OP also shares the reasons why her sister and her family originally were not able to come. To begin with, the summer is the most challenging season of the year for the sister and her husband's business because it is the busiest time of the year, and the wedding was scheduled for July. A three-hour drive with the kids would be too challenging, which was another justification.

Now, the author highlights that the plane trip to Hawaii is almost 9 hours long, so it makes no sense how the sister would be able to come. Then the OP’s sister brings up that their brother and his family are going and it makes the sister's kids feel left out as their cousins are going. In addition to this, the sister complains that it’s like “playing favorites” and that the soon-to-be-weds pulled a “reverse bait and switch”.

The sister of the poster and her family would, however, add 5 more guests, which would cause the couple to significantly exceed their budget. According to the author, the only choice is to drastically downgrade the already promised vacation, but it would be extremely unjust to the other participants.

Image credits: Recal Media(not the actual image)

After the story, many Redditors agreed - the sister doesn’t care about the wedding, she just wants the free trip. How can her kids suddenly “survive” a much longer drive and flight? And how is the business less busy, surprisingly? In addition to this, a few folks wrote suggestions for the message template, in which OP could explain the situation. Long story short - you want to go, you need to pay for the trip by yourself.

For the context, rsvpify reports that, on average, 83% of guests indicated that they will attend users' weddings, while 17% of invitees declined their invitation. Knowing the percentage, it is very surprising to see a close family member declining the invitation.

It is interesting to point out that, according to research by The Knot in 2019, traditional weddings are (usually) even more expensive than destination ones. And, in the report on the same website, normally, guests pay for their own flights and accommodations. So, the suggestion from one Redditor may work in this situation - “tell your sister that they are still invited, just have to pay for all the expenses”. After this is done, it will be clear if the issue was the new invitation or the desire for a free tip.

The post got more than 11k upvotes, even though it was posted 5 days ago, and brought up an active discussion from the Reddit members with almost 1.2k comments. Folks have reached the verdict that the woman is not the jerk in this situation. What is your opinion? What would you do in this situation?