Childbirth is an incredibly joyful and exciting moment for the whole family, but at the same time, it is also so difficult. First of all, for the mother in labor, who is actually risking her health at this moment, and for the baby too. And it’s critically important that all other family members and relatives understand this.
But for the husband of the user u/ProjectAppropriate50, the author of this story today, everything was not so clear-cut. As the guy chose to quarrel with his pregnant wife on the very eve of the birth simply because she didn’t want to have his mom in the delivery room... However, let's take everything in order.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is a mom-to-be and she will deliver her baby soon
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro (not the actual photo)
While discussing the people to be present in the delivery room, the author's husband suggested his mom too, but the wife objected
Image credits: ProjectAppropriate50
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The mom-to-be was upset that the mother-in-law had been shaming and judging her for the whole pregnancy, so she didn't feel comfortable in her presence
Image credits: ProjectAppropriate50
Image credits: DC Studio (not the actual photo)
The man, however, sided with his mom and insisted that she should be present there, since "it's his baby too"
Image credits: ProjectAppropriate50
So the couple had a quarrel over this and the man has been giving his wife the cold shoulder since then
In fact, the story is quite simple. The original poster (OP) is a 22-year-old woman who will soon give birth to her first child. And recently the couple discussed which of their relatives will be in the hospital room when she gives birth. The husband suggested that it would be her mom, sister and best friend, and, of course, his mother. And here our heroine had some objections...
The thing is that, according to the author herself, the mother-in-law had been shaming and judging her throughout the whole pregnancy, and now the woman feels that she will be uncomfortable if she’s among those who are attending the birth of the baby.
We do not know whether the OP shared her thoughts on this matter with her spouse, or simply told him that she didn’t want to see his mom in the hospital room, but the man clearly took the mother's side. The husband indignantly declared that this was his baby too - and therefore his mother had every right to be present in the room.
The wife tried to explain that she would be only happy to see any one of his relatives before or after the childbirth, but in general, she'd "prefer not to be spread eagle in front of his family." The woman's arguments, however, didn’t affect the husband - he got incredibly offended and has been giving her the cold shoulder since then.
And now, instead of calmly preparing for the upcoming birth, our heroine is worried that her partner will invite his mother against her wishes, or, even worse - that he may not show up at all. And she decided to share her worries with people online.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
"I understand that this man is worried about his mother. It’s commendable... but not in this particular situation. In the end, the most important thing during childbirth is the health of the mother and the baby, nothing more," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment here. "Everything else, all personal ambitions are secondary here."
"And if the expectant mother claims that she’s uncomfortable with her mother-in-law's presence, then so be it. After all, what will his mother's presence in the hospital room change for the husband? Only that she’ll be happy and won’t bother him in the future? A weak argument compared to the health of his wife and child."
"And, of course, childbirth is not a reality show to invite a whole team of viewers. Moreover, this woman made it clear that she would be happy to see both MIL and all other relatives on her husband's side at any other time, before or after the birth. In general, if the husband acts in some way here that is different from his wife's opinion, he will clearly be wrong," Irina presumes.
People in the comments were also almost unanimous about this situation - and fully supported the mom-to-be. "Sorry but your husband is not the one laying naked on the table displaying his private parts for everyone to see," one of the commenters repiled. "Birth is extremely graphic and vulnerable. This is solely up to you who is in the room because you're the one having a baby."
Moreover, some responders who will also be grandmothers soon sincerely wrote that if they were the author’s MIL, they’d in no way insist on their presence in the delivery room. “I know my daughter in law and son most likely want that moment to themselves so I won’t even ask. That baby will be just as beautiful when the new Mommy has had some time to get herself settled,” another woman added wisely.
In general, commenters are almost sure that the original poster is completely right in this situation. “Since when is L&D an event for multiple spectators?” someone aptly concluded, and it’s hard to disagree with that. So what do you, our dear readers, think about this story?
The people in the comments unanimously supported the woman, claiming that only she should decide here
