50 Horror Stories From Doctors And Nurses That They Can Never Forget (Trigger Warning)

Nurses often have more contact with patients than doctors. So it's no surprise that they sometimes get to know them well, especially in cases of prolonged hospital admission or ongoing illnesses.

The more a nurse sees a patient, the deeper the bond between them can grow. And when that patient takes their last breath, it can be heartbreaking for the person who'd been helping to care for them.

A 2021 study published in the National Library of Medicine notes that while seeing people passing on is an inevitable part of a nurse's job, it doesn't make it any easier to witness. "There is no doubt that, despite an ability of self-control and a calm approach to the issue, there are still some emotions the nurses need to work through. The death of a patient is considered one of the professional situations in nursing," reads the paper.

160 nurses took part in the Polish study, aimed at evaluating and analyzing the feelings and emotions which accompany nurses during their work when they face the passing on of patients.

Among the participants, more than half said they experienced h**h levels of stress. Many admitted to feeling a sense of helplessness and abandonment, anger and sorrow.

Mortality is unavoidable in the working environment of nurses. “Every [one] is a painful event but, in a way, it is inscribed in human existence," notes the paper. "Nurses often accompany a d*ying person and they are required to carry out their duties in a professional manner when dealing with such a patient."

11% of the nurses in the study group admitted that they reacted very emotionally to when a patient passes on, while nearly 56% of the respondents stated that they tried to control their emotions. 33% said that they kept their distance.

The research also found that nurses with long service in work manage their emotions best.

"Respondents with the shortest length of service found it very hard to cope... and they experienced a particularly h**h level of sense of powerlessness, the feeling that becomes less intensive the longer the person works in the profession," notes the paper.

Doctors and nurses are expected to be able to emotionally detach and quickly move onto the next patient. But that's sometimes easier said than done.

"Sadly, that's the reality in the trauma bay and ICU settings," reveals Dr. Brenda M. Schiltz, a pediatric ICU specialist at Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. "You still have to carry forward. The next patient deserves your full compassion and thoughtfulness just as the patient who is deceased. That's not easy to do, and I had to learn how to do that well."

"It's not just the deceased patient's family who grieves — it's the health care team and everyone working in the area when a person d*es," says Cathy A. Dudley, a specialist in Decedent Affairs at Mayo Clinic's campus in Rochester, Minnesota.

Schiltz adds that in the past, it was frowned upon for medical professionals to take a moment, or step away, after a patient takes their last breath. But things have changed.

"There's been a culture shift... It used to be about just powering through, and there was stigma that you were weak if you couldn't," the expert reveals. "Now the culture has moved to thinking that if you can't perform your duties, stepping aside is the best thing for you as a professional and for your patients at that time."

Schiltz adds that many in the medical community are still grappling with how to react in the moments after a patient passes away.

"We're still combatting the 'ignore your emotional response' mindset and trying to find the right balance of taking a moment to process what just happened, have a breather and then set it aside in order to complete our shifts," she says. "Yet there can be times when you just can't go on to the next patient."

Dudley agrees. "People need to find their coping mechanisms to come to grips with the inability to save the patient, especially in trauma," she told MayoClinic.

Schiltz says that while medical professionals may attempt to move on after a patient flatlines, the emotions surrounding such events can go home with them. And therefore, it's important to address negative events at work.

"Patients d*e — that's part of what happens in health care. We witness suffering, critical illness and health deteriorate to the end of life," explains the expert. "However, you have to leave it at work."

She revealed that a chaplain friend of hers treats work like a backpack. "He uses this backpack to carry or help shoulder people's loads, bearing heaviness with them. He said that when he leaves work, he envisions removing the backpack and then goes home."

Schiltz believes that doctors and nurses need to be able to "remove the backpack" to fully participate in their home lives, adding that "there's a sacred time and space at home and at work."