Childbirth and becoming a parent can be incredibly joyous blessings, yes, but they can also be stressful, painful, and exhausting. So, what new parents need the most is support, not judgment from strangers. The sad reality is that some folks have a holier-than-thou attitude that has very little to do with loving thy neighbor.
Internet user u/Feathers137, a new mom who looks very young, went viral on the Traumatize Them Back subreddit after sharing the creative way she got back at an unbelievably rude older woman. The latter started ranting and raving, criticizing the mom after mistaking her for a teenager. You’ll find the full story below. We reached out to the author of the viral post, u/Feathers137, and she was kind enough to tell us more about what happened. The mom also shared some advice that she'd give new parents. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with her.
Childbirth can be an incredibly exhausting, stressful experience. Naturally, new parents need support, not random judgmental comments
Image credits: ImageSourceCur (not the actual photo)
A young-looking mom shared the nightmare encounter she had with an older woman who made some incredibly rude and unhinged comments in public
Image credits: borodai (not the actual photo)
Image credits: oneinchpunchphotos (not the actual photo)
Image source: Feathers137
"I like to hope that my response shook her up enough to change her, even if only slightly, but I seriously doubt it had any lasting impact on her"
Bored Panda wanted to understand what happened with the rude stranger better, so we asked about how u/Feathers137 reacted at first. "Honestly, I was utterly shocked and surprised by her. Admittedly, the entire thing felt like an out-of-body experience, as my reaction was also a shock to myself! It's not my nature to react like that, and I have no idea where it even came from!" she opened up to Bored Panda.
"I was also extremely angry and upset that anyone would just randomly talk to a complete stranger like that!"
The author gave a bit more context about where she lives. "I do live right on the edge of what's commonly known as the Bible Belt, as well as being the central location of a completely different spiritual belief, so the town is full of self-righteous better-than-you types who will jump at any chance to rub in their superiority to anyone they deem as below them. While I can't say with absolute certainty that she was one of these people, I do feel this is the most likely reason," u/Feathers137 mused.
Bored Panda was curious whether the rude stranger may have done some introspection after the encounter with u/Feathers137. "I like to hope that my response shook her up enough to change her, even if only slightly, but I seriously doubt it had any lasting impact on her. I wouldn't even be surprised if she came away from this experience and somehow twisted me into a terrible person, and it only cemented her beliefs."
The author also shared some practical, helpful advice for any new parents out there who might be exhausted or struggling. "To any new parents out there, I do wish to say that it really is worth it in the end. I know when people told me that beforehand, I would just roll my eyes, but there really is no feeling like the love you have for your child," she told Bored Panda.
"I remember being riddled with fear that I wouldn't have any connection with my daughter, especially because I didn't really want kids and admittedly found babies low-key disgusting, and let me be the first to tell you how wrong I was. I look forward to getting off work specifically because I know she'll smile when she sees me, and the feeling I get when that happens is honestly addictive," she shared how her perspective about parenting changed.
According to u/Feathers137, everything "does get easier, even when it gets harder." She explained how, "in the beginning, you're so full of uncertainty about every little thing, constantly wondering if you're doing things wrong, but as your child gets older, you get more comfortable with your role as a parent, and as new things come up, you do start to feel more confident in your decisions, and that's coming from someone who second-guesses everything!"
She added, "Just remember on the days when things are extra hard that this moment will pass; nothing lasts forever. On that same note, on days when everything is going perfectly, really stop and appreciate those moments because your little one will grow up so quickly!"
The postpartum period can be incredibly difficult, and rude strangers aren't helping anyone
Image credits: A. C. (not the actual photo)
Not only is it rude to publicly criticize someone you don’t know while making sweeping assumptions and without even trying to understand their context, but you could also argue that it’s deeply unethical and speaks volumes about the person’s low self-esteem.
Public shaming is a way for someone to feel more powerful and ‘superior’ at the expense of others. It feeds their ego because they feel they’re totally in the ‘right’ while everyone else supposedly is living life wrong.
It’s arrogant. It’s shortsighted. And it’s infuriating. Basically, it’s bullying. And you’d assume that adults know better than to bully strangers. Unfortunately, some people need a wake-up call before they start reevaluating how they treat others. You can only hope that the rude woman in the story will be more polite and stop judging others for things that are none of her business.
Childbirth can have a very deep impact on a mom’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The period after childbirth is generally referred to as postpartum or postnatal.
The Cleveland Clinic explains that this can last from six to eight weeks after delivery, during which time the mom’s body returns to its pre-pregnancy state. That being said, the symptoms and changes can last beyond the eight weeks.
“Major body and life changes are happening at the same time during the postpartum period. [...] Giving birth is a major physical and emotional challenge. Being a caregiver and adjusting to life with an infant during the postpartum period is also incredibly demanding.”
Childbirth is incredibly personal, so there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for the postpartum period, but there are some general things that you can expect.
New moms must regularly check in with their doctors after delivery to ensure they stay healthy
Image credits: National Cancer Institute (not the actual photo)
According to the Cleveland Clinic, you can expect vaginal cramps, tearing, bleeding, hormonal shifts, hot flashes, mood swings, headaches, breast engorgement, and perineal soreness.
Other things that moms can expect include swelling (from extra fluids that accumulate during pregnancy), which should go down within a week, and fatigue. Swelling can sometimes cause chest pain and trouble breathing, and in those cases, it can be a sign of something more serious, so it’s important to have regular check-ins with your doctor.
It’s not just your body that changes after childbirth. There are lots of potential emotional symptoms, too, including feeling sad and teary (so-called ‘baby blues’), postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and weight loss.
The Mayo Clinic advises that postpartum care should be an ongoing process rather than a single visit after childbirth. Get in touch with your doctor within the first two to three weeks after delivery, whether that’s in person or by phone. Then, go get a complete postpartum exam six to twelve weeks after giving birth.
Some of the things that you should consider talking about with your doctor during that visit include your mood and emotional well-being, how well (or poorly) you’re sleeping, any tiredness you have, baby care and feeding, birth control and birth spacing, pain, adjusting to life with a new baby, and anything related to intimacy with your partner.
Have you ever had a complete stranger come up to you and start criticizing you for something random? Has anyone ever ranted at you in public about your parenting decisions? What advice would you give new parents who feel overwhelmed by it all? Let us know in the comments below.
Many internet users were utterly shocked by what happened. This is what they told the mom
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