There are plenty of approaches to raising kids, and different people worry about different things. For example, according to a 2022 survey, 45% of parents say they tend to be overprotective and 20% claim they might be giving too much freedom. 35% think they give in too quickly and 30% believe they stick to their guns too much, while another 26% note they probably praise their children too much rather than criticize them too often (20%).
Interested in these differences (and similarities), Redditor Then-Routine4852 made a post on the platform, asking moms and dads: "What parenting trope, cliché, or stereotype do you wish would go away?" Here are some of the most upvoted answers they've received.
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#1
To piggy back a bit off yours, the whole notion of dads "Babysitting". Um no, that is your child (ren)...they're not babysitting, they are parenting.
newcamper1234 replied:
I, sadly, know a lot of moms specifically who say they 'can't get [their] husbands to babysit' if they want to go out and watch a movie or grab dinner with friends or something. My husband and I aren't like that, and when I say that my husband has our kids, I've even heard one exclaim, 'You trust him with the kids for that long?' Um, yes, I wouldn't have had kids with him if I didn't trust him to take care of them.
I, sadly, know a lot of moms specifically who say they 'can't get [their] husbands to babysit' if they want to go out and watch a movie or grab dinner with friends or something. My husband and I aren't like that, and when I say that my husband has our kids, I've even heard one exclaim, 'You trust him with the kids for that long?' Um, yes, I wouldn't have had kids with him if I didn't trust him to take care of them.
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213points
#2
Parents asking other, especially young, kids if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet. It's not cute and borders on creepy.
SisterOfRistar replied:
Also, when they call any friend of the opposite sex the kid's boy- or girlfriend. I had a male friend in primary school, and my parents kept mocking me so much and calling him my boyfriend. I ended up distancing myself from him because it embarrassed me so much. It was an innocent friendship, and they ruined it for me.
Also, when they call any friend of the opposite sex the kid's boy- or girlfriend. I had a male friend in primary school, and my parents kept mocking me so much and calling him my boyfriend. I ended up distancing myself from him because it embarrassed me so much. It was an innocent friendship, and they ruined it for me.
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194points
To analyze the topic further, we sent the same question to Vicki Broadbent, the founder of the popular family and lifestyle blog Honest Mum.
"I think some of the clichés are well-meaning; however, many can exert pressure on mothers, especially," Broadbent, who is also the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), told Bored Panda.
"I've been guilty of using some myself, such as 'supermom,' for example. For me, a term like 'Mumboss' is empowering as it describes how motherhood has helped me create a business."
#3
The whole intimidating his daughter's new BF needs to go. It’s so f*****g creepy and insecure
somebodywantstoldme replied:
The number of old men who have approached my husband while out with our three daughters (all under 6) to tell him he better have his gun ready because of how pretty they already are is gross.
The number of old men who have approached my husband while out with our three daughters (all under 6) to tell him he better have his gun ready because of how pretty they already are is gross.
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188points
#4
The jokes/culture of "drinking alcohol because parenting is hard and the kids are driving you crazy.". The whole wine mom/gin mom trend, or calling beer "happy daddy juice". Little baby outfits that say "I'm the reason mommy drinks" or with a picture of a beer glass and a baby bottle that says "Daddy's bottle, my bottle". I have just seen so many.
It glorifies alcohol as a stress reliever/mood booster. It makes alcohol consumption seem really trivial and like it's the norm. And for kids growing up with an alcoholic parent, it creates the idea in their mind that it's all their fault. I don't find it cute, funny, or trendy.
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175points
Vicki is a mom-of-three herself, and she thinks the prevalence of these things has a lot to do with personal interpretation. That being said, "we all need to be mindful to view motherhood in an open and inclusive way," she added.
"I've found people sometimes have preconceptions of me when they hear I'm a mother (usually non-parents), that perhaps my brain or sense of humor left the building when my kids entered."
"We learn from experience and can educate others too, or stand up for ourselves if we feel we're being misrepresented or undermined," the mom highlighted.
#5
I wish people would let their kids have privacy and keep them off the internet. Did I really need to see your baby’s bare bum on Facebook??
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163points
#6
Keeping your children so busy in extracurricular activities & events that they are never home. It’s ok to let your kid play with the toys they have, go outside in their own backyard, hang out with the neighborhood kiddo and have unconstructed free time.
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163points
"Starting important conversations is a way to change the often limiting narrative," Broadbent said. "It's also important to be honest about what changes and our needs as parents, for example, requesting the option for flexible or remote working. As Amy Westervelt states, 'We still ask women to work like they don't have kids and parent like they don't work. It's well past time to change all that.'"
Luckily, Vicki feels there's been a cultural shift over the past for the better, which was accelerated online by mothers and fathers who have been more candid in representing how hard parenting can be, showing the good with the bad. "Hashtags like #relatablemom and #honestparenting bring up millions of searches showing the realities of parenting. By doing so, we all feel more normal and supported," she said. Hopefully, this Reddit thread contributes as well!
#7
That little baby boys or girls are “flirting” when they’re smiling at an adult. It’s f*****g creepy and gross. Anything that sexualizes babies and little kids that way.
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143points
#8
Forcing kids to clean their plate (eat everything). This creates an unhealthy attitude towards food. I try to portion enough to what I know my kiddo can eat but holy c**p. I've seen some parents feed their kids adult servings and tell them they aren't leaving the table until it's done.
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140points
#9
Sexualizing girls because they’re “pretty”. I passed down heterochromia to my daughter and her eyes are two different colors. It’s nearly impossible to go out in public without another adult saying something about how pretty she is and how it’ll benefit her future relationships. How she’ll “grow up to be looker”, how *all the boys* will want her, or maybe I won’t have to worry about this one staying home. If they think they’re being edgy they’ll snicker and say “or maybe she’ll bat for the same team!” She’s 6.
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130points
#10
I'm sick of dad's being stereotyped as lazy or hands off at home or with the kids. I do ALL of the grocery shopping, cooking and most of the cleaning in my house. I'm as hands on with the kids as my wife is. I prepare snacks and see them off to school most school days, I take them on outings and I handle the baby all the time. I resent the assumption that I don't do these things, and I don't think anyone on reddit would sympathize with me asking for more help from my wife, because, well, dad's don't actually deserve breaks, only moms do, because only they do things.
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128points
#11
Making your kids be affectionate towards people … when I grew up my parents would obligate me to ‘say hi -give a kiss or hug’ to every adult at any event and I hated it … I never push my kids to give hugs or kisses … even if it’s a close relative. They get to choose then the want to be physically affectionate and with whom. I also don’t let adults use physical affection as a bargaining tool. ‘I’ll give you a cookie if you give me a hug’ it just seems so gross to me.
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124points
#12
That children are so delicate that they can't be exposed to anything but the most infantilized stories where everything is puppies, rainbows and rounded edges.
Yes, kids need to be protected and gently introduced to the less pleasant aspects of the world, but that introduction actually needs to happen over the long term. Pretending bad things don't exist isn't parenting.
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121points
#13
The idea that girls are somehow more difficult to raise than boys. They’re not. Both girls and boys are emotional and complex.
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117points
#14
"Boy mom" You're just being weird. Find a personality separate from your kids' genders, ok?
IllPaleontologist215 replied:
I have even been subjected to the 'You have it easy as a girl mom' comment from a 'boy mom.' Stupid. My kid is just as rambunctious and dirty as your boy, trust me.
I have even been subjected to the 'You have it easy as a girl mom' comment from a 'boy mom.' Stupid. My kid is just as rambunctious and dirty as your boy, trust me.
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108points
#15
The idea that “gentle parenting” and “permissive parenting” are the same thing. No, we don’t let our kids do whatever they want. YES, we have boundaries and consequences and accountability! No, we aren’t the parents with awful, uncontrollable kids- though our kids act like children, in ways that are developmentally appropriate, because we haven’t terrified them into perfectly still silence all the time. We just do all those things while treating them like humans, giving them an appropriate level of autonomy, caring about their opinions, and not physically hurting/shaming/(usually) yelling at them/punishing them punitively! As someone with a literal angel of a teenager who has been parented gently/consciously/authoritatively/responsively from birth, it’s EXHAUSTING listening to the dumb stereotypes and people saying it doesn’t work and/or creates s****y kids.
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94points
#16
You've failed if your body doesn't "bounce back" from pregnancy immediately. Also, if it doesn't, you need surgery.
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86points
#17
Look I'm a big dude who makes the lunches of both my boys. I even occasionally include notes. Stop complimenting my wife on the boys lunches. They had ribs in there...I also cooked them.
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86points
#18
The "asked for it", "you knew this", or "you signed up for it" attitude towards struggling parents. There seems to be this attitude that parents should know or expect everything and that because they had kids, it's okay they suffer or struggle.
Life is too dynamic, children and young adults aren't robots - they're individuals, so to shrug and say "you signed up for it" is unhelpful and just wrong.
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85points
#19
I don't like the stereotype of a boy is your son until he takes a wife and your daughter is yours for life (or however the phrase goes). Adult children of any gender can still be close to their parents.
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77points
#20
"Do it all mom." It may be from my state (Utah) but you must be put together, have well-dressed kids, do crafts, go all out for holidays, make everything homemade, and have perfect houses. Nope. Hard pass.
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70points