Almost every parent dreads the time when they’ll have to sit down and have those awkward but essential conversations about peer pressure, the birds and the bees, protection, and so on. Some will handle it better than others, but it’s just something that needs to be done.
Well, a pediatric ER nurse took to TikTok to share one of the best pieces of parenting advice she’s ever heard when it comes to these tough but tender talks. Her best friend, who’s also a teacher, told her to have them in the car, and the reasons might surprise you.
More info: TikTok
Pediatric ER nurse and mom of 4 received a surprising parenting tip from her best friend
Image credits: @beachgem10
The tip helps parents deal with those awkward but important talks they have to have with their kids
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
She explained that the car is the perfect place to do it, for a variety of surprising reasons
In her minute-and-a-half long video, Dr. Meghan Martin reaches out to her substantial following to discuss why having tough talks in the car is the way to go.
Martin says those awkward, but also really important, conversations that you need to have with your kids should happen in the car because, as the parent, you’ll have your hands on the wheel and be looking straight ahead, so you don’t have to make eye contact with anyone.
She adds, “You also have a captive audience that is literally seat belted in behind you. Again, they don’t have to look you in the face, they can engage or not engage as much as they want, but they are in the car and potentially have to hear what you’re saying.”
She said it also makes it not that big of a deal because you ride in the car every day and you’re not making it this big experience that you had to take time out of your day for.
Martin shares that for the last couple of years she’s been having these discussions, especially with her older kids, and the car has become kind of a safe place where, if they have something they want to ask or talk about, the car is a great place to do it.
She goes on to say that she’s now starting to have these conversations with her younger kids, and emphasizes how important it is to talk about these issues early so that when they get to that older teen and pre-teen time it’s not the first time they’re hearing about it.
Martin concludes by saying, “I don’t know anyone who necessarily looks forward to having these conversations but doing it in the car takes some of that pressure and weirdness out of it.”
As opposed to having a serious sit-down talk, nobody has to make eye contact in the car and driving is an everyday thing to do
Image credits: @beachgem10
Watch the full video here
One of the most difficult things for modern parents is talking about awkward topics with their kids, mostly because they never had these kinds of conversations with their own parents. And with the internet just a click away, there’s plenty of room for disinformation if parents don’t have these tough talks with their kids before they turn to the virtual locker room community.
In her post for Duluth Mom, Sara Strand writes that, while her kids were growing up, their hard questions would often come at unexpected times, for example, when she was asked which hole babies come out of at 6 in the morning.
Strand goes on to add that one of the best parenting tips fell into her lap by accident when her oldest child was in first or second grade and casually mentioned during a trip to the mall that one of her friends had suggested she was fat and should throw up her lunch.
Strand writes that, while it was pretty awful and an alarming thing to hear as a mother, she got to ask questions and have a casual conversation about it, something her daughter was never willing to do outside of the car.
Image credits: Tim Mossholder (not the actual photo)
In a blog at Symptoms of Living, the author writes that there is something about cars that just cuts out all the noise and really gets people talking. For some reason, we stop being defensive and permit conversations to dwell into sometimes difficult territory.
In the post, the author puts forward 5 reasons it may be easier to have tough talks in the car. Firstly, there’s the shared destination. Both passengers have the same goal, and this shared purpose can create a feeling of intimacy.
Second, you’re literally facing the same direction. While eye contact is recognized to be one of the most important facets of social connection, removing it has a remarkable impact. Sitting next to each other means we can take our time to speak and respond, contrary to usual conversation etiquette.
The third reason is simple - you’re removing the outside world. The protected and enclosed space is something we’re evolutionarily designed to seek out, so we feel it’s safer to open up there too.
Fourth, is movement. There’s something magnetic about the forward movement of a car journey. As we whizz past the scenery, we’re naturally encouraged to act on this sense of momentum, which may help us sidestep mental obstacles and make progress on topics we were stuck on.
Finally, both passengers are stuck in the same space. This sense of isolation and privacy can create the ideal space to bring up tough topics, since there’s literally nowhere else to go and no distractions or interruptions from other people.
What do you think about Dr. Martin’s parenting tip? Have you had your own tough talks with your kids in the car? How did it go? Let us know in the comments!
Folks in the comments shared their own stories of having car convos with their families, with many valuing these talks for their practical privacy and more relaxed setting
