One of the biggest parts of parenthood is being there for your child—emotionally as well as physically. The unfortunate reality is that, for some parents, their kids aren’t a priority. They have other goals and ambitions and focus on them. And that can really hurt.
Redditor u/Intelligent_Horse_, a 17-year-old teen, turned to the AITA online community for advice. The OP wanted their take on a particularly delicate situation at home. She shared how her parents left her to live with their best friends for 7 years while they galavanted around the globe. You’ll find the full story below. Bored Panda reached out to u/Intelligent_Horse_ and she was kind enough to answer our questions. She shared her thoughts on the response her post got and what a great parent should be like, and revealed what it's like to live so close to nature. You'll find our full interview with the OP below.
Responsible parents are there for their children, supporting them as much as they can. Some parents, however, have different priorities
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
A teenager asked the internet for advice after sharing how her parents left her to live with their friends these past 7 years
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
The teen opened up about her situation in an update to her post
Image credits: CreativeNature_nl (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Intelligent_Horse_
The young woman stayed with the best people imaginable, who consider her their own child
The author of the post shared that ‘Pete’ and ‘May’ consider her to be their daughter. Unfortunately, they’re not really clear on the details of why the OP’s biological parents left her, why they didn’t visit, and why they’re stopping their globe-trotting adventure now. However, from their point of view, the teenager can continue to live with them.
And she seems to love her new life! She’s close to nature. She gets to ride horses and take care of them. And she doesn’t want to throw all of that away to live with her parents halfway across the US again. She shared how she and ‘Pete’ sat down to write a long letter, explaining the upsides of her staying in Montana.
The AITA community was incredibly supportive and helpful. They gave the OP some practical advice and expressed their shock that any parent would dump their kid to go traveling for a whopping 7 years. And without even visiting their child. Calls, emails, and postcards aren’t a real alternative to physical contact.
“Apparently my parents have always been a bit strange. Very little sense of responsibility, never taking things seriously, always getting in trouble. Guess they didn't really grow out of that phase,” u/Intelligent_Horse_ wrote.
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
"I really appreciate Pete and May because they were always there for me"
Redditor u/Intelligent_Horse_ told Bored Panda that she's incredibly happy that so many people have been giving her so many kind words and pieces of advice, "even though the situation isn't great." She was very pleasantly surprised by how kind complete strangers can be.
"A lot of the things they have said were things I never really thought about, like what if my parents had been lying to me the entire time about their reasoning for traveling. I was actually a bit scared that my parents would be able to take me away from where I am now without my consent, but a lot of people told me that I wouldn't have to worry about that because I'm apparently already old enough to make my own decision, and that if it does go to court, it would take too long for it to make a difference," the OP opened up to us.
She noted that another piece of advice she got was that it's best not to be rude to her parents "because they can apparently still make things difficult for me or for Pete and May. There was a lot of good advice actually!"
For the redditor, the essence of a great parent is being there for their child. "I really appreciate Pete and May because they were always there for me. When I was having trouble they helped me, when I felt sad they comforted me, we spent a lot of happy times together making fun memories. They made me feel comfortable and safe. And they gave me the freedom to be myself," she told Bored Panda.
Meanwhile, we were curious about what it's like to live so close to nature, day in and day out. "Living in nature is just so peaceful. The air is so clean, and it always feels like I can take everything at my own pace," the redditor shared.
"There's no rush for anything. It's so comforting to be able to sit outside and hear nothing. Also, the night sky is beautiful! Stargazing is so relaxing."
Image credits: Monstera (not the actual photo)
Neglectful parents can have negative impacts on their kids' growth and development
According to Verywell Mind, uninvolved parents tend to be emotionally distant from their kids. They focus on their own problems in life and limit their interactions with their munchkins. Not only that, they usually show very little affection, set little to no expectations, and aren’t involved in supervision. In short, their priorities are elsewhere.
At its core uninvolved parenting, also known as indifferent and neglectful parenting, is about a mismatch between the parents’ behavior and their children’s needs. And while some parents might be intentionally neglectful, others might be impacted by stress, poor mental health, or a lack of education when it comes to childcare.
Neglect comes in a few main forms. Physical neglect, for instance, means that the parents fail to provide their kids with basic necessities like food, shelter, medical care, and clothing. Emotional neglect, meanwhile, is characterized by a total lack of interest in the child’s life, as well as failing to support them or showing them love. Neglectful parents also ignore the need for proper education and aren’t consistent in the rules they set (if they set any at all…).
The negative impact of such behavior is huge. Neglected children tend to have behavioral problems, and emotional issues, and perform very poorly at school. That’s on top of the possible medical issues that come from malnourishment and improper care. The kids can also develop self-esteem issues and have problems trusting others. Thankfully, the author of the post had her parents’ friends who were able to take good care of her. She seems to be thriving.
In cases such as this, it can help to seek a therapist’s help in order to come to terms that one’s parents weren’t there for them. Meanwhile, seeking out others with similar experiences can help the person understand that they are not alone in this. And of course, having proper parental figures in one’s life—even if not related by blood—are a saving grace.
The author of the post answered some questions in the comments
The internet was very supportive of the teen. Here's what some users had to say
The young woman later shared another update with her readers
