For many adults, moving out of their parents’ house means suddenly gaining a host of new responsibilities. Paying rent, completing all of the chores and grocery shopping and furnishing an apartment can seem like monstrous tasks. But for one woman, who’s the oldest sibling of five, living on her own actually meant having more free time and less responsibilities. Below, you’ll find the full story that this woman recently shared on the “Am I the [Jerk]?” subreddit detailing how moving out on her own was a win-win, compared to staying at her parents’ place and being required to pay rent.
With how expensive housing costs have become, many adults are choosing to live with their parents longer and longer
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
But after this woman's parents started asking for rent, she realized it would actually make more sense to just find her own place
Image credits: FOX (not the actual photo)
After she moved out, however, the woman's entire family started complaining about the new responsibilities they had to take on
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LetterheadMaterial93
Now, she's wondering if she was wrong for choosing to move out
Whether or not adults should be charged rent in their parents’ homes is a controversial subject. Some moms and dads believe that their children will always be welcome in their homes, regardless of how old they are, while others believe that, at a certain age, rent should be required. There are also plenty of other factors that can come into play, such as whether or not the son or daughter is working, whether or not they’re a student, if they’re actively trying to save up for their own place, how much they contribute to their parents’ household and how financially stable the parents are.
It is not uncommon for parents to ask their adult children who live with them to pay rent
Image credits: vladans (not the actual photo)
Considering how expensive housing costs have become in recent years, though, it’s actually become increasingly common for adults to either stay at their parents’ homes or move back in with them. According to HuffPost, one quarter of all adults between the ages of 25-34 in the United States lived in multigenerational households in 2021. In 2010, however, only 9% of that age group was in the same boat. Apparently, many of these young adults were contributing to their households financially, though. In fact, Karen Fingerman, a professor in the school of human ecology at the University of Texas, Austin, told HuffPost that these sons and daughters were bringing in about 20% of the income in these multigenerational households.
Fingerman goes on to note that these adults living with their parents do not tend to be “freeloaders”, despite the stigma that may exist surrounding living at home. But approaching the topic of rent and financial expectations can be difficult for parents. It can be awkward or uncomfortable to discuss finances with our children, so it’s important to breach the subject delicately. “It’s important to not only discuss the rate but also the emotions that come up,” Fernández Paulino, financial adviser of Wealth Para Todos, told HuffPost. “The parent should be prepared to validate the emotions their adult child may have about this financial change.”
And there are a variety of ways parents can work out a rental agreement with their kids
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
And as far as how much parents should be charging, OneFamily explains that there are a variety of ways parents can go about it. They can set an arbitrary amount, essentially just as a formality but still allowing their children to save for the future; a percentage of the adult child’s earnings; or agree on a budget split, where all members in the family are expected to contribute evenly. At the end of the day, it’s up to the parents to decide what they want their children contributing. It’s difficult to know exactly how much adults typically hand over to their parents, but according to Ideal Home UK, the average amount parents in the United Kingdom are charging their adult children is a modest £240 per month, coming in at 66% cheaper than the average median rent in England. That’s a pretty good deal!
One point that Erin Lowry, a writer for Financial Advisor, makes on this topic is that parents can even use the rent that their adult children pay them to help them out later down the line. “Even if you don't need the money, charging kids rent ensures responsibility and is a sort of forced savings account,” she writes. “Generous parents could return the accumulated monthly rent back to their children when they’re ready to leave.”
But they must be sure to broach the subject delicately, as to not jeopardize their relationship
Image credits: JoPanwatD (not the actual photo)
It is perfectly reasonable for parents to expect their children to contribute to the household in the ways that they see fit, but in this specific case on Reddit, the woman was doing plenty to make her parents’ lives easier. She noted that she did the grocery shopping, the laundry, made dinners and meal-prepped and managed her younger siblings, in addition to working part-time and finishing her degree. While it is up to the parents to decide whether or not their adult children should be paying rent, they cannot be shocked that their daughter decided she would rather live on her own than add even more to the household financially.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments below, pandas. Did your parents ever charge you rent? Or have you ever charged your own children rent? Feel free to share, and then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing whether or not parents should be charging their children rent, we recommend reading this story next!
Readers unanimously supported the daughter in her decision to move out, assuring her that she did nothing wrong
