Parents and kids don’t always see eye to eye, but regardless of what happens between them, their love for one another often remains the most important thing. Sometimes, though, adults might take rash decisions when it comes to disciplining kids, which can impact their relationship forever.
This is what happened between a man and his parents after they kicked him out at 16 due to his misbehavior. He had to struggle on the streets and stay with a friend until they finally took him back, but his trust in them never returned.
More info: Reddit
When children feel betrayed by their parents, they might struggle to regain the trust they once had in them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster had been a troublemaker at sixteen, but he had never done anything that bad, so he was shocked when his parents randomly kicked him out
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His parents only gave him a $20 bill and then left him, so he had to sleep on the streets for two days and then crash at a friend’s house
Image credits: Rohmer Maxime / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
His dad came to pick him up after four days and said he did it only because the poster’s mom had forced him to do so
Image credits: DookieDanny
Even though the poster always wanted a connection with his parents, he struggled to forgive them for abandoning him when he needed them the most
When the poster was young, he acted out and gave his parents a hard time, just like most teens do. What he didn’t expect was for them to retaliate and punish him by suddenly kicking him out of the house. It was probably quite a sudden experience for him, and he also mentioned that they never told him exactly why they took such steps.
Although this is quite a harsh form of punishment, every parent has their own techniques for keeping their kids’ behavior in check. What most mental health professionals can agree on is that violent or harmful forms of discipline can actually do more harm than good, and unfortunately, take away from the “lesson” the parents want to teach.
It’s possible that the OP’s parents reached their breaking point and felt that they needed to take strict action against their son. That’s why they kicked him out of the house, but therapists state that this kind of “tough love” can eventually end up breeding resentment, fear, and anger. It might even cause the kid to lose trust in their parents.
That’s exactly what happened to the OP, especially because his dad left him at a random place with just $20 in his hand. The teen had nowhere to go and had to spend two days living on the streets, until a friend let him stay at their home for another two days. Only after all of that did his father come looking for him, that too at his wife’s insistence.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This traumatic incident in the poster’s childhood obviously scarred him, and he couldn’t trust his parents, even though they probably tried to get things back to normal. He did concede that they gave him good advice, and that he had tried to mend the relationship, but things didn't seem the same at all.
According to experts, the reason for this could be the effect that abandonment tends to have on children, with many left feeling anxious, fearful, and even angry. Kids might constantly worry that their parents will leave them again if they do anything wrong, which can be very difficult feelings to deal with.
The poster also clearly felt hurt by his parents’ actions, and he shared that he had never truly healed from the experience. It seems like his mom and dad also never addressed the issue and probably pushed it under the rug, pretending like everything was okay. That’s why he hadn’t been able to move forward in his relationship with them.
Everyone wants to have a good relationship with their parents, and it can truly be painful if past trauma or anger comes between them. Hopefully, the poster is able to accept his feelings and move on, more for his peace of mind than theirs.
What advice would you give to a person dealing with a difficult family situation like this? Do share your words of wisdom down below.
People sided with the poster and told him it was completely his decision to forgive them or not, and that he didn’t have to do it if he didn’t want to
