High school drama usually revolves around crushes, cliques, and the occasional cafeteria food fight. But imagine swapping all that for diaper duty and bedtime stories. Being a teen is tough enough, but when you’re also the big brother to three young siblings, life can get pretty intense. Forget who’s dating who or what happened at the last party—this is real-life drama on another level.
While for most high schoolers drama means schoolyard gossip or navigating tricky friendships, for one Redditor, let’s just call him Jack, his teen years came with a much heavier load—literally. At just 17, Jack found himself juggling homework, hormones, and the heavy responsibility of raising his younger siblings.
More info: Reddit
17-year-old is forced by parents to raise his 3 younger siblings, but refuses to do the same for new baby and tells them to put it up for adoption
Image credits: prostooleh (not the actual photo)
“I said I reject child raising another one of their kids”: parents expect 4th child, want teen son to raise it like he did with the others, but he declines
Image credits: Catalina Carvajal Herrera (not the actual photo)
The teen has been raising his siblings since he was very young, doing everything for them, from cooking to helping them with homework
Image credits: Luana Jhenifer Santos (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Fine_Disk2154
Teen son doesn’t want to miss out on living his life by raising an infant who is not even his, tells his parents to put their baby up for adoption if they don’t intend on raising it
As the big brother, Jack sometimes helped his parents out with the 3 younger kids. At first, it was the occasional night watch, but soon, Jack was asked to cook for his siblings, help with homework and walk them to school, amongst other things. It didn’t take long before his role as a big brother turned into a demanding full-time nanny position.
While the parents have provided the essentials, such as food, clothing and a house, Jack has often dealt with the emotional needs and day-to-day caregiving of his 3 younger siblings. That has all been on Jack. He didn’t love it, but had just gotten used to the routine. But then, his parents dropped a bombshell: a new baby was on the way. That was Jack's breaking point. He was not going to raise yet another kid. No, way!
Jack’s folks casually informed their 17-year-old son to get ready for more sleepless nights and diaper changes, but this time, he was not having it. He had already sacrificed most of his teenage years taking care of the other 3 kids and he wasn’t about to take on one more. “I wasn't going to skip my own life to raise an infant from the start,” Jack recalls.
His parents were shocked, as they were not expecting such a response. They even tried to convince his younger siblings to step up, but unsurprisingly, they refused.
It sounds like Jack's folks forced their teen son into a parenting role he didn’t want or ask for. According to experts, parentification, where children are thrown into adult roles, significantly impacts their mental health.
“Parentification happens when a child is made to take on the role of an adult emotionally, financially, or through other responsibilities, without support from their parents or other adults. This can harm the child’s development and lead to a number of mental health problems and negative outcomes later in life,” experts explain.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
To find out more about the long-term psychological effects of parentification on teenagers, Bored Panda reached out to Jenny Hughes, PhD, trauma psychologist and assistant professor of psychiatry, for some comments. She told us that parentification happens when older siblings are consistently responsible for looking after their younger siblings, rather than just occasionally. Teenagers in this situation often face higher stress levels as they balance school, extracurricular activities, social life, and the care of their younger siblings.
“These teenagers are at increased risk of developing anxiety, depression, or even PTSD depending on the reason(s) they became parentified in the first place. In the long term, these psychological effects could have a negative impact on their school performance and social interactions, leading to poorer outcomes in adulthood,” Hughes explained.
When asked how parents can balance the need for sibling caregiving without overburdening their older children, Hughes suggests that teens should have a clear view of their priorities, whether it’s school or extracurriculars, and discuss with their parents about them.
“A good way to approach this discussion is to suggest creating or updating the family calendar to ensure your activity times are protected. During this conversation, it’s also beneficial to mention when you're available to help with younger siblings—whether it’s specific hours each day or certain days of the week,” Hughes explains.
With no one else stepping up, Jack’s parents turned back to him, expecting him to cave. But instead of giving in again, he suggested a bold solution: adoption. His reasoning was simple—if his parents aren’t willing to raise the baby themselves, then adoption would give the child a chance at a better life. “I told them they need to place the baby for adoption since they won’t have a good childhood with nobody wanting to raise them,” Jack recalls.
Understandably, this suggestion didn’t sit well with his parents. They accused Jack of treating adoption too lightly and were outraged that he’d rather see the baby adopted than continue the sibling-raising cycle.
Jack tried to clarify the situation by saying that his rejection wasn’t of a sibling but of the parental role. With only seven months left before he plans to leave home, Jack doesn’t want to spend his last days being his parents’ go-to nanny and miss out on his own life. And we can’t blame him. After all, what 17-year-old wants to spend his time changing diapers? We would think not many.
So, is Jack the A-hole for refusing to take on more parental duties? Was he right to suggest adoption, or should he have bitten the bullet one last time? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Netizens are outraged by the teen’s situation, saying his parents should stop having more kids
