You can’t choose your family, but you can definitely choose to say no to babysitting. Especially when your parents treat you like their “trial run” kid and save all the parenting energy for baby number two. Some parents think once you hit a certain age, you’re an automatic nanny for the younger sibling.
But when the older kid’s fed up with the whole arrangement, things can get a little tricky, because let’s be real, nobody wants to play free babysitter for parents who forgot how to parent the first time around. That’s exactly what one teenage daughter is facing in today’s Reddit story of parenting gone wrong.
More info: Reddit
If parenting is a test, then being the firstborn is like being a lab rat
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One teenage daughter has had enough of her parents treating her like their “trial run” kid but they still demand she babysit her younger sister
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The young parents ignore the teen’s needs her entire life, are never there for her when she needs them, yet go on having other kids they actually want to parent
Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SigannificantFan8104
The daughter tells her parents they need to take care of their own kid, refusing to babysit for them after they ignored her growing up
Our Redditor isn’t your average teen. She spent most of her time at friends’ houses, trying to avoid the fact that her parents, who had her at 18, weren’t exactly winning any Parent of the Year awards. Turns out, they regretted having her so young and basically viewed her as a “trial run.” Can you imagine hearing that?
And then, just when you’d think they’d have learned a thing or two, along comes baby number two, and suddenly it’s like they unlocked some next-level parenting skills. All the love, all the attention, all the praise? Yeah, that’s reserved for the younger sister.
Meanwhile, our OP (original poster) gets to sit back and watch as her parents finally start acting like parents, but only for the second kid. I don’t know about you, but I’d be fuming at this point.
And if that weren’t bad enough, the OP’s parents want her to babysit this magical second child while they go off to more fertility appointments. Yep, because they’re planning for even more kids.
They’re practically asking their 15-year-old daughter to parent her own sister because they’re too busy making new ones. It’s a classic case of parents viewing their oldest as an extra pair of hands instead of, you know, a teenager with her own life and needs.
So, what does the OP do? She hits them with a firm, well-deserved, “Nah, I’m good.” And honestly, can you blame her? Why should she give up her time for a child she didn’t ask for? Especially when her parents barely put in any effort to raise her in the first place. I’d probably do the same thing. Actually, scratch that—I definitely would.
And don’t even get me started on the “you owe us” argument. Her parents dropped the classic line that the OP should be grateful for everything her parents have done for her. Excuse me, Dad, what exactly would that be?
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
According to our OP, these parents have done the bare minimum—no parent-teacher conferences, no birthday celebrations, no showing up when it mattered most. They didn't even pick her up from school when she was sick. But now, suddenly, she owes them? For what, exactly? For keeping her alive? I don’t think so. She did a pretty good job at that herself, if you ask me.
Look, kids don’t owe their parents anything. They’re supposed to grow up supported and loved, and when that doesn’t happen, it can leave some deep emotional scars. When parents check out emotionally, it’s not just about missing a few hugs or bedtime stories—it creates a sense of unworthiness, as if you're forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be seen.
To find out more on this topic, Bored Panda reached out to Darby Fox, LCSW, a child and adolescent family therapist and author, for some comments. She told us that when a child experiences emotional neglect from a parent, it can severely harm their self-esteem, often leaving long-lasting effects that extend into future relationships.
“Because the parental bond with their children should be unconditional, we see far reaching damage when children don’t know who supports and encourages them. If there is favoritism, the wound is even deeper because the child internalizes a sense of worthlessness and self-doubt,” Fox explains.
We asked Fox for some healthy ways teenagers can set boundaries with their parents when they feel overwhelmed by neglect or unfair treatment. She suggested teens express their feelings to their parents using certain techniques that foster healthier communication. For instance, instead of blaming, they should focus on using "I feel" statements, which emphasize their emotions without placing blame on the parents.
We wanted to know what steps teens in neglectful households can take to preserve their mental health. Fox told us that teens should seek out support from other trusted adults, such as relatives, teachers, coaches, or mentors. Having someone outside the family who believes in them can significantly boost their self-esteem and resilience.
We also asked Fox about the consequences teens face when their parents clearly favor a sibling over them. She told Bored Panda that when teens see their parents favoring a sibling, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anger, sadness, and a range of other negative emotions. As a result, they may engage in risky behaviors, act out, or fall into depression.
“It is very hard to believe in yourself if the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally don’t. It is a very unfortunate situation, and parents really need to understand how devastating it can be,” Fox explained.
At the end of the day, family is supposed to be about love, support, and not guilt-tripping your teenage daughter into babysitting while you play house with the kid you actually feel like parenting this time around. Major props to OP for knowing her worth and not letting her parents walk all over her. If they wanted more kids, they should’ve factored in all the responsibilities that come with that.
So, is this teen the A-hole for refusing to babysit? I’m going with a hard no on this one, but what do you think? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.
Netizens side with the teen saying she’s not a jerk for refusing to babysit for her parents, who neglected her growing up and even called her a “practice run” kid
