Many kids consider their parents to be superheroes. They look at them with pure admiration, and they expect Mom and Dad to be the most intelligent, most loving people on the planet. But once the veil has lifted and children see their parents’ true colors, they aren’t always as impressed.
One man learned this lesson the hard way when he lost contact with his parents at a young age. But now, a decade later, they’ve finally decided that it’s time to reach out. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man posted on Reddit in search of advice, as well as some of the replies concerned readers left him.
This man has been estranged from his parents for a decade
Image credits: GaudiLab / Envato (not the actual photo)
But now that their daughter has been arrested, they finally decided to reach out
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRARevLog
It's possible for birth parents to maintain a relationship with their children in foster care
Image credits: Jordan González / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Losing a child is something that no parent should ever go through. It takes an incredible toll on a family, and it creates a wound that will never fully heal. Psychological Health Care notes that the emotional, physical, mental, social, and spiritual impact of this experience can be incredibly overwhelming.
Many parents will struggle with intense grief, PTSD, depression, anxiety, guilt, and self-blame. Some might even experience cognitive impairments while dealing with “grief fog,” and some will be completely numb emotionally. It’s common for parents to withdraw socially, change their identity or purpose, and their relationships will likely be impacted by all of this.
However, as difficult as it may be, the parents still have to be there for their other kids. Losing a sibling is also extremely traumatic, even at a young age, and the situation will only get worse if the kids end up losing Mom and Dad too.
Unfortunately, in this situation, the parents weren’t able to maintain custody of both their daughter and their youngest son. But even when a child is in the foster care system, it’s possible for them to have a relationship with their birth parents if they make the effort.
KVC Nebraska explains that birth parents and foster parents can work together to find the best means of communication for the parents and child. Then, they can regularly share photos and updates about the child’s achievements, while the birth parents can send cards and gifts to reassure their kids that they still love them.
Foster parents can save art projects, assignments from school, and other creations to share with the birth parents. They might even want to keep a journal about the child’s activities to share, so the parents don’t feel like they’ve missed out on too much.
Reconnecting with estranged parents can reopen old, painful wounds
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
This arrangement can only work, however, if both parties are willing to put in the effort. And from the information we have about the author’s parents, it sounds like they never tried to reconnect with their son until now. But deciding whether or not to reconcile with estranged parents can be a very difficult choice to make.
According to a 2025 YouGov survey, 38% of Americans are currently estranged from at least one family member, and 16% are estranged from a parent. Of those who are estranged from their mother, father, or both, 39% say that they would not be willing to reconcile.
Whether the child will be open to reconnecting or not depends on many factors, including what happened that led their relationship to this point in the first place. But if the parents reach out, they have to understand that there’s no guarantee that they’ll get the response they want.
Dr. Jan Anderson, PsyD, LPCC, explains that children will often have a different perception or recollection of their childhood than their parents do. But their mother and father have to be willing to accept that. They cannot dismiss their child’s feelings or try to convince them that they’re wrong if they truly want to reconnect.
By agreeing to reconcile, the child is giving their parents the opportunity to open up old wounds that might have been healed for years. It’s a risk, so it’s perfectly understandable for them to decide that’s not a path that they’re willing to go down.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have reacted if you were in the author’s shoes? Then, if you’re interested in reading another article from Bored Panda featuring similar family drama, look no further than right here.
Many readers warned that reconnecting with the parents might not be a good idea, and some noted that the parents should have reached out years ago
