When my son was 5 he told me, “I hate you.”
He was upset about something I had not let him do - you know, acting like the Mom and all…
After he calmed down I told him that I loved him, and I had really hurt my feelings after he told me he hated me. I said I didn’t ever want to hurt my feelings like that again, so I had come up with a plan.
“The reason you hated me was because I was acting like your mom, so from now on I don’t want to be your mom. I’d rather just be buddies, so you won’t have to hate me. How does that sound to you?”
He thought that was a great plan…!
Until…
He came in for dinner. He asked what we were having, and I said, “Well, I had lasagne. But I only made enough for myself, since buddies usually don’t cook for each other. What are you going to have?”
“Uh… I don’t know. What is there?”
“What can you make?”
“I guess peanut butter? “
“Okay, enjoy that! I’m going outside for a bit.”
“Wait! Where IS the peanut butter?”
“In the cabinet, I think. I’m sure you’ll figure it out, bud.” And I went outside to read a book … and peek through the window.
The next day for breakfast I had French toast. He had cold cereal. For lunch I had Mac and Cheese, and he had … more peanut butter.
After lunch he said he had something REALLY important to talk to me about. He sat me down and said, very seriously, “I don’t think I want to be buds any more. I’m only five, and I think I need a mom.”
“I loved being your mom, but if it’s going to make you hate me, I don’t think I want to do that any more. That didn’t feel good to me.”
He said, “What if I promise I won’t hate you any more ever again?”
I said, “You’d do that?”
“If you would be my mom again I would.”
So we agreed - I’d be his mom, and he wouldn’t hate me for acting like his mom.
I’m sure there were times over the years when he was in his room sticking his tongue out at me, but he’s 25 now, and he’s never again told me he hates me.
But he still doesn’t like peanut butter.
He was upset about something I had not let him do - you know, acting like the Mom and all…
After he calmed down I told him that I loved him, and I had really hurt my feelings after he told me he hated me. I said I didn’t ever want to hurt my feelings like that again, so I had come up with a plan.
“The reason you hated me was because I was acting like your mom, so from now on I don’t want to be your mom. I’d rather just be buddies, so you won’t have to hate me. How does that sound to you?”
He thought that was a great plan…!
Until…
He came in for dinner. He asked what we were having, and I said, “Well, I had lasagne. But I only made enough for myself, since buddies usually don’t cook for each other. What are you going to have?”
“Uh… I don’t know. What is there?”
“What can you make?”
“I guess peanut butter? “
“Okay, enjoy that! I’m going outside for a bit.”
“Wait! Where IS the peanut butter?”
“In the cabinet, I think. I’m sure you’ll figure it out, bud.” And I went outside to read a book … and peek through the window.
The next day for breakfast I had French toast. He had cold cereal. For lunch I had Mac and Cheese, and he had … more peanut butter.
After lunch he said he had something REALLY important to talk to me about. He sat me down and said, very seriously, “I don’t think I want to be buds any more. I’m only five, and I think I need a mom.”
“I loved being your mom, but if it’s going to make you hate me, I don’t think I want to do that any more. That didn’t feel good to me.”
He said, “What if I promise I won’t hate you any more ever again?”
I said, “You’d do that?”
“If you would be my mom again I would.”
So we agreed - I’d be his mom, and he wouldn’t hate me for acting like his mom.
I’m sure there were times over the years when he was in his room sticking his tongue out at me, but he’s 25 now, and he’s never again told me he hates me.
But he still doesn’t like peanut butter.