About five years ago, our daughter came home crying. It was still one of the early days of second grade, and I asked her what was wrong. She told me, “The boys at school told me it’s not normal to have two dads and told me that I’m weird.”
Our daughter has two dads, and we’ve never kept it a secret to her that we used a surrogate and egg donor to have her. She’s always known that her family is herself and her two dads. She’s always been very matter of fact about it, and when anyone asks about her mom, she just says, “I don’t have one, I have two dads.” So, up until this particular day, it hadn’t been an issue. And we tried to make sure it wouldn’t ever be an issue.
We had talked to her school beforehand to let her teachers know that we had an alternative family structure. We were very involved with the school so many parents knew we were “the family with two dads.”
Even with all the preparation, I knew this day was inevitable, but it still broke my heart.
Follow-up: The next day I went to her teacher and explained to her what our daughter told us about the school incident. That very day the teacher prepared a special lesson on different families, and how it was “normal” to be in a family with one parent, two parents, no parents (e.g. only grandparents, foster parents, etc.), and how you shouldn’t bully kids for being in a special or different family from what you are used to.
Our daughter has two dads, and we’ve never kept it a secret to her that we used a surrogate and egg donor to have her. She’s always known that her family is herself and her two dads. She’s always been very matter of fact about it, and when anyone asks about her mom, she just says, “I don’t have one, I have two dads.” So, up until this particular day, it hadn’t been an issue. And we tried to make sure it wouldn’t ever be an issue.
We had talked to her school beforehand to let her teachers know that we had an alternative family structure. We were very involved with the school so many parents knew we were “the family with two dads.”
Even with all the preparation, I knew this day was inevitable, but it still broke my heart.
Follow-up: The next day I went to her teacher and explained to her what our daughter told us about the school incident. That very day the teacher prepared a special lesson on different families, and how it was “normal” to be in a family with one parent, two parents, no parents (e.g. only grandparents, foster parents, etc.), and how you shouldn’t bully kids for being in a special or different family from what you are used to.