Mom Gets A Reality Check About Her “Unique” Baby Name After Aunt Bursts Out Laughing

A name is like our business card. Every time we say it to another person or an institution, it not only introduces us but also shapes the way we are perceived. Serenity, for example, has a very different connotation than Storm.

Recently, a Reddit user shared a story about naming her firstborn daughter. She and her husband settled on a unique name they made up, inspired by mythology and literature. But not everyone was as enthusiastic about it as they were.

After they received a fair number of negative reactions from their family (including a particularly harsh comment from one of the aunties), the woman began to doubt her choice.

It's understandable why parents put so much thought into naming their kids. Research shows that our names can reflect even our families' socioeconomic status and political affiliations. Since they disclose so much information to the world, some might view the choosing part as a high-stakes game.

In the US and the UK, the current trend is toward more unique names—indicative of the Western world's more individualistic mindsets. "Finding a name that has authentic roots, but is completely undiscovered, is the ultimate baby name status symbol," Pamela Redmond Satran, founder of the baby-naming site Nameberry, said.

When you live in a culture that values standing out, it's no surprise that some people are trying to find ways to make their children seen.

However, the point that the Redditor's aunt was trying to make is also valid. Extremely common, classic names give very little away. Since biblical names never really go out of style, it means their bearers can be almost any age. They can be Jewish, Christian, or religiously unaffiliated. There are white Michaels and Davids and Marys, and there are black ones too. And these names are not particularly linked to politics, either.

Many immigrants followed this logic when naming their children. A 2016 study published in the American Sociology Review looked at data on Irish, Italian, German, and Polish immigrants in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. The authors discovered a strong correlation between second-generation immigrants with traditionally American first names and occupational achievement. They suggested that parents who chose an American name were signaling their families' orientation toward cultural assimilation, which worked to their kids' advantage.

Given the extent to which names are connected to local culture, some countries have even gone so far as to restrict parents' choices to government-approved lists. Icelandic parents, for example, must pick from 1,800 girls' names and 1,700 boys' names. Sweden and Norway regulate baby names as well, and France abandoned its list only in 1993.

Speaking of which, during one study, researchers asked people in France and Israel to look at photographs of strangers' faces and guess their names from five possible choices. Participants selected the correct name far more frequently than pure chance would have allowed them.

The researchers suggested it's because our appearances are shaped by the cultural expectations and stereotypes associated with a given name.

"We show that people change their faces as they grow," the study's co-author Anne-Laure Sellier told Quartz. "You're conditioned to look a certain way because you want to fit in and be accepted." We expect a girl named Joy to be cheerful and smiley, so she is likely to develop a bright personality accordingly.

It could very well be that parents who give their children a common name are, indeed, allowing them to become anyone they want.