Every parent wants their kid to always be safe, taken care of and to worry about them as little as possible. And while probably every parent knows the best way to raise their kids and wants to spend as much time as possible with their kid, sometimes days without a nanny may seem impossible - especially if they trust them no less than themselves around their kids.
However, sometimes parents (maybe) unintentionally make their nannies more of a parent than they are supposed to be. After witnessing a similar situation, one Reddit user shared her opinion - she took her cousin’s example and stated that parents’ vacations are not their nanny’s vacation.
More info: Reddit
Like in every relationship, having clear boundaries between a nanny and the family that they work for are crucial
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Woman shares that her cousin was hired as a nanny and the first mistake made was not setting clear boundaries
Image credits: Jae Park (not the actual photo)
She noted that this family goes on vacation every year and expected the nanny to go with them, stating that she should be honored
Image credits: juan mendez (not the actual photo)
The post author shared that families fail to realize that it’s their vacation and not their nanny’s, who will be working with the kids while the parents will be relaxing
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She pointed out that families must understand that a nanny is your nanny and family vacations are not theirs
A few days ago, one Reddit user posted her cousin’s story to the community dedicated to stories about entitled people. She made a statement that parents should understand that their vacation is not their nanny’s vacation. The post received quite a lot of attention and collected over 4K upvotes and almost 150 comments.
The original poster (OP) starts by saying that her cousin is a nanny who made the mistake of not setting clear boundaries with the family she works for. She added that when the nanny was hired, she was told that their family takes a vacation every year to the beach and Disney World and she’s lucky that she will be able to go (despite it being the complete opposite of what vacation means to her).
However, once the time came for the vacation, the nanny refused to go, which caused quite a fuss - in their opinion, it was an honor as it was so expensive and she had the opportunity to go, leaving the fact behind that she even had panic attacks thinking about taking care of 4 kids in Disneyland. OP noted that parents should understand that a nanny is a nanny and family vacations are not the nanny’s vacation.
People in the comments shared how it should have been handled and agreed with the woman's message. “They’re going on a trip, they want their nanny to look after their kids full-time because they want to enjoy their trip without worrying about the kids,” one user wrote. “When I travel for work my expenses are paid by my employer. Plus I get my normal rate. And I still get my normal paid vacation hours to use as I please,” another added.
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“Regarding the scenario, the primary issue seems to be the lack of clearly defined boundaries. The overlap between a nanny's vacation and a family's vacation should ideally be avoided,” shared Lindsay Thomason, CEO and founder of The Nanny League with Bored Panda. “If the family expects the nanny to accompany them on their vacation, it should be treated as a work trip for the nanny.”
She also added that the nanny should be compensated at their regular rate, including applicable overtime (at time and a half). “Additionally, they should receive a per diem for being out of their usual work environment (e.g., $100-150/day). All expenses such as food, travel, lodging, and incidentals should be covered and compensated appropriately,” Thomason emphasized.
Speaking about how common it is for nannies to face pressure about joining families during vacation, Thomason pointed out that while it’s not uncommon, the expectation should be communicated upfront. “Pressuring the nanny to join vacations or implying that it affects job security is unfair.”
She also continued that although families may see their nanny as an integral part of their household and seek continuity during trips, they must communicate this expectation clearly. “Establishing clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning is crucial for fostering a positive and respectful working relationship between the family and the nanny.”
Moreover, Thomason shared that while nannies need to assert boundaries, they should also be open to compromise and offer alternative solutions. “Educating the family about the importance of respecting personal time and work-life balance can help them understand the nanny's perspective.”
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Additionally, seeking support from peers or professional organizations can offer valuable insights. “Prioritizing self-care is essential to manage any guilt or anxiety. Taking time to recharge benefits both the nanny and the children they care for. By communicating openly, setting clear boundaries, and practicing self-care, nannies can navigate these situations confidently and professionally.”
Thomason pointed out that it's also important to note industry standards regarding vacation and sick days for full-time nannies (household employees). “Typically, families are expected to provide ten paid vacation days and five sick days per year for a full-time nanny. Including these provisions in the nanny's employment contract or agreement helps set clear expectations from the beginning and ensures fairness and respect for the nanny's well-being,” she added.
"Families should communicate any additional policies or benefits related to time off, such as how and when vacation days can be used, and any procedures for requesting sick leave. By adhering to industry standards and providing adequate time off, families can demonstrate their commitment to supporting their nanny's work-life balance and overall health and happiness.”
But what do you guys think about this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
This created quite a discussion online where people gave input on how this situation should have been handled
