Sometimes, when we want to have successful relationships with other people, we have to sacrifice something, make compromises, and try to work together. After all, relationships are like a two-way street that requires people to meet each other in the middle as much as possible, if they want it to work.
In the OP's case, they had to sacrifice their most beloved comfort food -- strawberries, after learning that their girlfriend is allergic to them. The problem arose when, 2 years later, they found out that the tale about the allergy wasn't very close to the truth.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, to make a relationship work, you need to make some sacrifices, but you should never invent something for your partner to sacrifice on a whim
Image credits: Nathan McBride / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
For the entirety of their life, the post's author had a comfort food -- strawberries
Image credits: Alexander Grey / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When they started dating their girlfriend, they gave up eating the berries completely, as she was allergic to them
Image credits: Eve Lyn / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
For 2 years they never gave into cravings for their favorite food, just to keep their significant other safe
Image credits: virtualfemme
Then, one day they learned that she wasn't actually allergic -- she simply didn't like the taste of them and came up with a lie that would prevent her partner from eating them also
The OP has always loved strawberries. And it was not a simple preference for them – they were basically obsessed, as they described it as “one of the few foods I both loved and could rely on when I was anxious and struggling to eat.” So, it was a big deal in their life.
Then, around 2 years ago, when they started dating their girlfriend, she told them that she’s allergic to these berries. She even went on to say that a mere kiss from OP after eating them could pose an actual physical risk to her.
She didn’t specify what kind of allergic reaction her being near him after he ate strawberries would cause, but it was implied that it wouldn’t be nice. Typically, food allergies manifest with tingling in the mouth, swelling of the lips, throat, and face, hives, and, of course, the worst case scenario, anaphylaxis.
The latter is when an immune system releases chemicals that force a body into a state of shock, weak pulse, skin rash, nausea, and vomiting, to the extent that it can be fatal if not treated right and quickly enough.
So as to not to risk any of that, the OP decided to cut the strawberries out completely. Not only them, but anything with their flavor, just to be safe. As they said, “When someone says they have an allergy, you take that seriously.”
Image credits: Karabo Mdluli / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Now, 2 full years later, the author found out that their girlfriend isn’t actually allergic to strawberries at all. Turns out, she simply doesn’t like their taste, so she came up with a lie about an allergy just to make sure that the partner hadn’t eaten them before they kissed, so she didn’t have to taste them. Quite a bizarre lie, isn’t it?
Well, the original poster thought so, too. What makes the situation so bad in their eyes is the fact that she knew how big a sacrifice giving up strawberries was for him, and she still kept up the lie for years. And there wasn’t any proper reasoning behind it, just a simple dislike of them.
Just like us and the OP, netizens thought this lie was rather disturbing too. They were shocked that she kept up this lie for so long and pointed out that this might be a sign that it isn’t the only thing she’s keeping from him. Basically, this whole incident just sets up a path for trust issues in a relationship.
If not dealt with, trust issues can be so harmful to a relationship that they can end it. When one’s trust is violated with such a lie, like in this story, a person might have a hard time believing other things their partner says. Even if mistrust isn’t based on reality, it can strain the relationship and eventually lead to its downfall. In fact, lack of trust is named as one of the most common reasons why couples end up splitting.
So, we can only hope that this couple will manage to go through this bump in their road. Or maybe, if it's not too cynical, they will realize that they’re not meant to be together and will find their way to people who won’t lie to them about such important things as allergies. At least the OP deserves that, for sure.
This made the person spiral in terms of how selfish her move was, and netizens couldn't agree more
